Embracing the Present

When everything is flowing according to our idea of how things should be, it’s easy to feel in harmony with the rhythms of the universe. When there is a lack of alignment between what we want and how our life is unfolding, we’re more likely to feel disharmony, stress, or frustration. Yet it is our resistance to what is happening in the present moment that intensifies our distress. Whether we’re getting a root canal or finding out that we’ve lost our job, our fear and the frightening stories we tell ourselves about our situation magnify our pain.

The present moment is not always easy to accept, but learning to listen to the sensations in our body and the message they are sending will calm our emotional turbulence and ultimately will enable us to benefit from the experience. The following process can help you let go of resistance and constriction and open to higher states of harmony, creativity, and joy in the present moment:

Accept the present.
Begin by tuning into your body and your environment. Listen to the sounds around you, becoming aware of the hum of a fan, birds singing outside your window, and the sound of your own breath. Become aware of the sensations in your body – the way your feet feel in your shoes, the chair supporting your back, the clothing touching your skin. Bring your attention to the inflow and outflow of air through your nose. Continue observing your breath, allowing it to bring you into the present moment.

Accept the signals of your body.
Now put your attention on the internal sensations in your body. You may feel tightness in your shoulders, aching in your back, or constriction in your throat. Conversely, perhaps you’re feeling lightness in your heart or a sense of connectedness to the earth. Whether the sensations are pleasant or uncomfortable, feel them without resistance. If sadness comes up, welcome it. If anger rises up, allow it to move through your body and release it with the exhalations of your breath.

Accept responsibility.
While sometimes we find ourselves in situations over which we have no apparent control, most of our daily struggles are the consequences of previous choices we have made. Accepting our contribution to the challenge we face can help us see that we are free to make new choices that lead to new possibilities.

Accept change.
Accepting the inevitability of change doesn’t mean that we relinquish our desires or wallow in situations that we can change. Instead, it’s focusing on the present while discovering the freedom to respond creatively.

Commit.
With deepened awareness, we can make new choices, let go of habits that no longer serve us, and commit to doing something different. Remember, we have control over our choices, but not over the results of our choices. We do our best and watch with curiosity and composure as life unfolds. Connect to your body, accept this moment, know that change is inevitable, and become clear on what you would like to see manifest. Your ability to co-create the next moment requires acceptance of the present.

With love,

David

This month Deepak Chopra is on a speaking tour in his homeland of India, where Oprah Winfrey will interview him for her TV show Next Chapter, which features in-depth interviews with news makers and celebrity icons ranging from politicians and authors to scientists and spiritual leaders. Next Chapter debuted on the Oprah Winfrey TV network (OWN) on January 1.

On Twitter last week, Oprah posted, “Never been to India, it’s been on my vision board forever.”

Deepak and Oprah are both featured guests at the Jaipur Literature Festival a celebration of national and international writers. The festival will include readings, talks, literary lunches, debates, performances, children’s workshops, and other activities.

Oprah’s interview with Deepak will take place at Jaipur’s City Palace and will air on OWN later in the year.   Stay posted for dates and times.

Why Commit to Abundance?

People on a spiritual path often struggle to reconcile the apparent contradiction between embracing wholeness and material abundance. Warnings about the spiritual risks inherent in the pursuit of abundance are present in most religious traditions. Christ told us it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. In Buddhism and Hinduism, the monk’s path of renunciation is promoted as superior to the ways of the householder. Knowing that in the end, we can’t take it with us, why commit to abundance?

The answer is in the word. Abundance is derived from the Latin word abundare, which means “rising in waves.” The essence of abundance is the experience of the ocean of life rising in waves of love, energy, and enthusiasm. Connected to the infinite, unbounded field of spirit, the abundance of the universe becomes accessible to you.

The Endless Cosmos

The universe is the ultimate expression of something coming from nothing, and the essence of the creation story is the same whether you ascribe to Genesis, Vedic philosophy, or quantum cosmology. From the Vedic perspective, the infinite, eternal unmanifest has inherent creative potential. The universe as we know it is the expression of one exhalation of the Supreme Lord, Mahavishnu. When he inhales, the current cosmic manifestation will dissolve, until Mahavishnu’s next breath when he re-creates time and space.

From a modern scientific perspective, the universe is intrinsically abundant. The current estimate of stars in the universe is 10²¹, which is a one with twenty-one zeros after it: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Scientists now suspect that all the known matter and energy is only about 4 percent of what exists. The other 96 percent of the cosmos is currently believed to consist of dark energy and dark matter. In addition to unfathomable quantities of energy and matter, the universe is abundant in mystery.

Mother Nature has revealed her prolific creative capacity since the first life forms emerged almost 3.8 billion years ago. The number of named plant and animal species on earth now exceeds 1.5 million, which is estimated to be less than 10 percent of the total that exists. We share this planet with 20,000 species of fish, nearly 10,000 species of birds, and a little more than 3,000 species of mammals.

The Essence of Abundance

Abundance is a state of consciousness in which you believe in your clear and unimpeded connection to the source of creativity. You are inherently confident that your needs will be met. Your inner value is independent of your outer possessions. You recognize that the universe is abundant, and that you are an expression of universe.

Commit to abundance consciousness. On a daily basis, before going to sleep, take an inventory of your life and allow your heart to fill with gratitude for the things, experiences, and people in your life. Even during those times when your life is not unfolding the way you would like it to, bring abundance into your awareness and you will notice a shift in your perspective. With this inner shift, you will observe a spontaneous clearing and abundance will flow.

With love,
David

In this post, Deepak shows why going beyond the most common blocks to commitment gives you access to the full power of your passion, energy, and love.

Commitment is the ultimate assertion of human freedom. It releases all the energy you possess and enables you to take quantum leaps in creativity. When you set a one-pointed intention and absolutely refuse to allow obstacles to dissipate the focused quality of your attention, you engage the infinite organizing power of the universe.

There is no limit to your ability to co-create with the universe, but to find that out, you must engage life with commitment. You must be willing to put yourself on the line because when you commit yourself to anything, you express every aspect of who you are. If you give everything you have to your chosen pursuit, your strengths and talents, as well as your weaknesses and shadows, will all be exposed. Commitment brings up everything.

This unavoidable fact is the reason why many people fear or avoid commitment; they so dislike what they perceive as their negative characteristics that they hold back, acting in the belief that life will be safer. They may attain the illusion of security, but at the same time they severely limit their experience of what life can bring. Here are a few of the most common decisions that keep us from totally engaging in life:

1. I don’t want to look bad.
This decision is about self-image, which is only a superficial impression of who you are. Be willing to forget how you look. Olympic runners usually cross the finish line drenched in sweat, their faces contorted with the effort. In their passion to win, they don’t care how they look. If you are focused on your own passionate commitment and your inner feelings of satisfaction, you won’t worry about your appearance either.

2. I don’t want to fail.
Those who are afraid to fall down usually were ridiculed or humiliated in the past. They have a conditioned belief that failing means they are worthless. Their fear is so great that they walk away from new challenges rather than risking failure. If this is you, it’s important to be a good parent to your scared self, offering yourself lavish praise and encouragement. Set minor goals for yourself, such as jogging around the block or making an omelet. As you do this activity, feel what it’s like to succeed. If things go a bit wrong, tell yourself that it’s all right. Slowly develop your connection to the voice of encouragement.

3. I don’t want anyone to see me fail.
This decision stems from shame, which is the internalized fear of other people’s opinions. Their disapproval becomes your shame. You can counter this decision by realizing that what others think about you reflects their beliefs about what is good and bad – not yours. Also refrain from shaming others. Your ego self may think that it can protect its vulnerability by gossiping or tearing down others, but in reality this only perpetuates a culture of shame.

4. I don’t want any pain.
This decision has to do with a fear of psychological rather than physical pain. Those who have suffered in the past without being able to find healing may have a great aversion to any new possibilities of pain. They avoid commitment in an attempt to remain invulnerable. It may help to remember that in the cosmic design, pain is neutral. In the physical world, pain motivates us negatively, while pleasure motivates us positively. True freedom is letting go of our attachment to both. The best way to begin this process is developing a state of witness consciousness through practices such as meditation and mindful awareness.

5. I don’t want to use up all my energy.
In reality, the thing that drains energy most is the act of holding back. The more you try to conserve your energy, the more it dwindles. For example, people who are afraid to love may end up constricting love’s expression. They close their hearts and stop the flow of compassion from replenishing their lives. To expand your channels of energy, learn to give. Whenever you feel like you don’t have enough, give to someone in need, whether in the form of money, time, or attention. In addition, follow your passion. If you’ve ever committed yourself passionately to anything, you’ve no doubt noticed that the more energy you devote to it, the more you have.

Spirit responds to your vision of it, and the higher your vision, the more you will evolve. As you surrender to commitment, the entire field of potentiality opens to you, and fulfillment becomes your daily reality.

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Intention is the starting point of every dream. It is the creative power that fulfills all of our needs, whether for money, relationships, spiritual awakening, or love. Everything that happens in the universe begins with intention. When you decide to buy a birthday present, wiggle your toes, or call a friend, it all starts with intention.

An intention is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the seed form of that which you aim to create. Like real seeds, intentions can’t grow if you hold on to them. Only when you release your intentions into the fertile depths of your consciousness can they grow and flourish. In the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Succes, by Deepak Chopra, the Law of Intention and Desire describes the five steps for harnessing the power of intention to create anything you desire.

1.  Get Clear on your Intentions and Desires
Most of the time our mind is caught up in thoughts, emotions, and memories, and it’s easy to fall into the grip of our ego’s fears and demands. It is therefore important to remind yourself – day in and day out – of your intentions, desires, and spiritual purpose. Many people find it helpful to write down their intentions and review them each day, just before meditation. (Learn more about meditation here.)

2.  Slip into the Gap
Once you’ve reviewed your intentions and desires, let them go – simply stop thinking about them and begin your regular meditation practice. In meditation you experience your true Self, which is pure awareness, pure potentiality, and pure being. When you’re rooted in the experience of pure potentiality, your intentions can spontaneously manifest with effortless ease.

3.  Remain Centered in a State of Restful Awareness
Intention is much more powerful when it comes from a place of contentment than if it arises from a sense of lack or need. Stay centered and refuse to be influenced by other people’s doubts or criticisms. Your higher Self knows that everything is all right and will be all right, even without knowing the timing or the details of what will happen.

4.  Detach from the Outcome
Relinquish your rigid attachment to a specific result and live in the wisdom of uncertainty. Attachment is based on fear and insecurity, while detachment is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of your true Self. Intend for everything to work out as it should, then let go and allow opportunities and openings to come your way.

5.  Let the Universe Handle the Details
Your focused intentions set the infinite organizing power of the universe in motion. Trust that infinite organizing power to orchestrate the complete fulfillment of your desires. Don’t listen to the voice that says that you have to be in charge, that obsessive vigilance is the only way to get anything done. The outcome that you try so hard to force may not be as good for you as the one that comes naturally. You have released your intentions into the fertile ground of pure potentiality, and they will bloom when the season is right.

As we begin a new year filled with unlimited possibility, take some time to consider your intentions, your desires, and where you want to focus your attention in the months ahead. Thousands of years ago, the Indian sages observed that our destiny is ultimately shaped by our intentions and desires. The classic Vedic text the Upanishads declares: “You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.”

The essence of a spiritual journey is relinquishing our attachment to a particular outcome, yet each of us has intentions and desires we’d like to see manifest in our lives. The wisdom traditions offer guidance that can help us increase the probability that our good intentions will translate into the outcomes we seek.

1. One-pointedness
The Vedas tell us that purity of thought and fixity of purpose are the secret to a life of fulfillment. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Consider, to the extent possible, how manifesting your desire will influence and enhance the quality of your life. Then, make a commitment to take the first step along the path to fulfillment.

2. Discipline.
Discipline is the commitment to learning and practice. The word discipline derives from the same root as the word disciple, which means “being open to receive.” The fruit of discipline is grace – the universe adds its power and creativity to your capability, and you manifest something that at one point seemed beyond your reach.

3. Timing
Mastering the power of intention includes honoring the rhythms of life. There is a time to act and a time to practice forbearance. Staying tuned in to the synchronistic clues around you enables optimal results with minimal effort.

4. Discernment
Attention is the most powerful force in human awareness. Whatever we place our attention on grows stronger in our lives. Apply your attention with conscious discrimination, and nature will support you in the fulfillment of your desires.

5. Surrender
We have control over our next choice, but no control over the consequences of our choice. Knowing this, focus your resources on the choice in front of you, set the desired trajectory, and then let go, observing the outcome with curiosity and amusement. Like an accomplished archer, become clear on the target, pull back your bow to a point of stillness, release the arrow, and see what happens.

6. Oneness
Return to the state where all desires arise and are fulfilled. Bringing silence into your daily practice through meditation and yoga cultivates a state of abundance consciousness. Whatever you are seeking to accomplish in the world of form and phenomena, you can access the feeling you are striving to generate by quieting your mind and entering into the state of timeless awareness.

7. Reflection and Lightheartedness
It is easy to waste life energy taking credit for our accomplishments and casting blame for our failures. Instead of focusing on self-importance or self-pity, this energy would be better invested in making use of the lesson learned to make more evolutionary choices. Spiritual warriors practice sobriety without taking themselves too seriously. In this way, we align our personal wants and desires with universal intent. Nature then supports the fulfillment of our desires, as the line between individual and universal becomes nearly indistinguishable.

Have faith that the universe will help organize your intentions and hope that the consequences of your intentions will bring peace, happiness, love, and meaning to you and all those affected by your choices. Best wishes for an evolutionary New Year.

With love,
David

During the holidays, it’s easy to get caught up in frantic activity that leaves you exhausted, out of balance, and susceptible to winter colds and flu. If you want to truly enjoy this special time of year, the best gift you can give yourself and your family is nurturing self-care.

1.  Do one thing at a time.
Instead of multi-tasking, give yourself the joy of focused attention. When you’re cooking, turn off your phone, Blackberry, and TV.  Let yourself fully experience the sensory pleasures of preparing and eating your special holiday meals. If you’ve decided to send out Christmas cards (remembering that you can ignore the voice telling you “should” do so), make it a pleasurable ritual. Turn on some beautiful music and focus on the gratitude you have for each person to whom you’re writing a card.

2.  Commit to less.
Don’t succumb to the collective hallucination that would plunge you into a mad scramble to find thoughtful gifts for everyone from your mother to your child’s teacher, create reindeer topiary for the lawn, and make platefuls of cookies, candies, and pies from scratch. Choose to participate only in those holiday activities that hold meaning and joy for you and your loved ones.

3.  Communicate consciously.
A helpful tool to prevent emotional strain at family gatherings is the Buddhist practice of “right speech.” Before you speak, ask yourself these three questions: Is what I am about to say true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?  Find more conscious communication tips here.

4.  Maintain a restful sleep routine.
While it’s easy to fall into an erratic schedule with parties, travel, preparation, and other seasonal events, you will feel better and actually be able to accomplish more if you cultivate a restful sleep routine. When you find yourself pushing too hard or overdoing any activity, rest.

5.  Learn to meditate.
Besides sleep, the best rest is the deep relaxation provided by meditation. When you meditate, your breathing slows, blood pressure decreases, and stress hormone levels fall. You go beyond the mind’s noisy internal dialogue and experience an oasis of inner silence and stillness. An easy way to get started with meditation the Chopra Center’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge – we have a brand-new free challenge starting in February 2012, and you can also start right now by downloading our Summer Meditation Challenge. Learn more here.

6.  Eat warm, Vata-pacifying foods.
When the weather is cold, limit your intake of dry and raw items such as nuts, chips, and uncooked vegetable, which all tend to aggravate the body’s nervous system and digestion. Try delicious soups, cooked whole grains, and nourishing stews. Drink plenty of hot tea, such as ginger tea. Find a simple ginger tea recipe here.
Learn more about Vata-balancing foods here.

7.  Don’t skip lunch to do holiday shopping.
Skipping meals aggravates both the Vata and Pitta doshas, so stick with regular mealtimes.

8.  Exhale your stress.
In stressful situations we have an unconscious tendency to breathe shallowly, which only increases anxiety in our mind and body. Kapalabhati is a yogic breathing technique that releases stress and toxins from the body. Find Kapalabhati instructions in our library.

9.  Nurture your senses with aromatherapy and essential oils.
In your home or office, use soothing scents such as orange, lavender, neroli, sandalwood, vanilla, orange, basil, or clove. Performing a relaxing self-massage with sesame or other natural oils is a deeply healing practice that you can treat yourself to every day.

by Traci Porterfield

I love the holidays . . . all the decorations and glitter and holiday music, the delicious, seasonal pumpkin spice lattes, getting letters and cards from special people I wish I saw more often, and what I cherish most ― the excitement and sparkle in my son’s blue eyes as he counts down the days until Santa comes down the chimney.

I treasure the holiday time with family and friends, as well as the blessed respite from the daily routine. However, this is not a universal perception. For many people, the holidays are far from the most wonderful time of the year. They may be grieving the loss of a family member or might have experienced a difficult break-up earlier in the year, leaving them newly single in a season that celebrates togetherness and romance.

As a professional relationship coach, I’ve worked with many clients who dread the holidays because they feel uncomfortable with their single status. I remember working with a client I’ll call Carol, an attractive, newly divorced woman in her forties. She told me about going to a neighborhood Christmas party where her elderly neighbor introduced her as “the single girl next door.”  A little while later, she was talking with a couple who asked her, “Who did you come to the party with?”

Carol told me that when she answered, “I came alone,” an uncomfortable silence followed and she swore that they were looking at her with pity. She said she felt like she was on display at a petting zoo, as if she were a member of a rare and endangered species that only came out between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Carol said that at any moment she expected the other party goers to take up a collection to save the species and motivate them to breed and repopulate.

I laughed but I also shook my head at her negative exaggeration. As David Simon has often said, “Reality is a selective act of perception.” Carol perceived the party through a lens that was heavily shaded with fear and insecurity. She could have just as easily focused on the friendliness of her neighbors, the opportunity to meet new friends, and gratitude for the delicious food and warm setting. The truth is that she was the one harshly judging herself.  The couple she met may have been envying her apparent freedom, while the older neighbor may have wished he could be her age again.

Cultivate a Loving Internal Dialogue

If, like Carol, your internal dialogue about being single is filled with thoughts such as “What’s wrong with me? Why am I alone again? Why can’t I find a compatible partner? Everyone must think I’m a real loser . . . ” ― I would strongly encourage you to shift your perception and to remember that your essential nature is infinite spirit. While most of us were taught to seek love and happiness from external sources, both of these qualities are innately ours. When you feel lonely or isolated, it’s because fear has clouded your perception, keeping you from experiencing the love and wholeness of your true Self. There is a beautiful quote from Deepak Chopra that expresses this idea in just a few words, “That which you are seeking is seeking you.”

Whenever you find yourself caught in a negative internal dialogue about being single (or about anything else), remind yourself that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Ask yourself, “How can I be more loving to myself in this moment? What is the kindest thing I could do for myself right now?”

Be Open to All Expressions of Love

When I hear clients bemoan their “alone” status, and I remember the wonderful parents, siblings or children of whom they so fondly speak, I have to stop and remind them that though they do not necessarily have the specific form of love they so passionately seek, love is in abundance if they take a moment to recognize it.

Christmas shopping with their mom or sister, lighting candles with family at Hanukkah, playing with young nieces or nephews, holiday parties or outings with friends, all of these times resonate with joy and togetherness. If you put your attention on cherishing these moments and truly being present, feelings of loneliness will dissipate.

Cherish the relationships that you have with your family, friends, and co-workers. Even though they aren’t the “eros” love connection you may desire, they offer invaluable gifts of connection, comfort, and cheer during this holiday season.

Focus on Giving

As a single guy or gal, you have a rare and wonderful opportunity to help others who don’t have your freedom and flexibility. Why not offer to babysit for the couple with the new baby who have not had a night out alone in months. Invite your sister’s kids over for an afternoon so that she can finish some last-minute gift shopping. Volunteer at a soup kitchen on Christmas day because you want to help, and you CAN!

You can also enjoy the ritual of giving to yourself. Treat yourself to a massage, a new pair of shoes, or a meditation retreat. Do you want to plan a last-minute trip for New Year’s Eve? Go for it! You don’t have obligations to tie you down. The ability to be spontaneous, creative, and exuberant is a wonderful benefit to being single at this time of year! The important thing is to appreciate and take advantage of your single status in whatever way you choose, whether doing for others or nurturing yourself.

Make plans you’ll enjoy

There are a wide variety of holiday events you can enjoy by yourself or with friends.  Be adventurous and try something new this year. Even if you don’t consider yourself a good singer, attend a sing-it-yourself Messiah and experience the spiritual communion of hundreds of voices soaring in unison.  Even if you don’t normally attend church or temple, go for a candlelight service or concert.  See a play at your local community theater or spend an afternoon curled up with a good book in front of the fire.

Appreciating where you are in life is truly one of the keys to happiness.  Enjoy this portion of your journey . . . the lights, the music, and festivities – and the peace, stillness, and joy of the season.  Cherish the deep connections you already have in your life, and be open to possibilities for new friends and relationships. And if you feel inclined to tell the Santa at the mall that the most important thing on your list is a wonderful person to LOVE and share your life with, then do it!  Put your intentions out into the universe and know that you are infinitely lovable.

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Traci Porterfield is a human resources consultant for the Chopra Center as well as the founder of Love by Design, a relationship coaching company based in Carlsbad, California.