Emotional wellbeing flows from the ability to clearly communicate what you want in life. This isn’t an inborn gift but a learnable skill. If you are not currently adept at expressing your needs, it is because you learned from people who were not proficient.
The key principle of conscious communication is making it as easy as possible for another person to meet your need by asking for the specific behavior that will fulfill it. However, when people feel vulnerable, they commonly compensate by becoming demanding and threatening, believing that forcefulness will increase the likelihood of getting what they want. As often as not, this approach has the opposite effect. My demand of you implies that you are of lesser value than I am and that, therefore, I have the right to dictate to you.
Even if you give in to my demands, you will likely do so with resistance and resentment. Sooner or later, you will no longer be willing to acquiesce to my commands and will stop meeting my needs. This principle applies to all relationships, including those with our business partners, co-workers, friends, children, and parents.
Practicing Conscious Communication: Expanding on the insightful work of psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, here is a simple process that will help you become a master of conscious communication.
Although using this process doesn’t guarantee that you always get your needs met, it will substantially increase the likelihood that you will spend more time feeling comfortable and at ease and less time in emotional distress.
The skills of conscious communication and emotional awareness are a vital component of the Chopra Center's Perfect Health program. Learn more about Perfect Health here.