The month of love and Valentine’s Day is upon us! As a matchmaker and dating and relationship coach, I find that many emotions surface in February for those seeking love. The questions surrounding love are plentiful: How and where do I find it? Once I do find it, how do I keep it alive and make it even stronger? Why do some people appear to have love effortlessly, while others struggle? What exactly is it about love that makes it so beautiful and sought after?
When we feel loved, we feel fully accepted by another. And when we are around people with love in their hearts, their full acceptance feels beautiful and attractive. Children and pets are also natural love magnets because their hearts are usually wide open and giving, and they easily accept us the way we are. People with love in their hearts shine from the inside out. They radiate their love out into the world and onto others, and are seen as open, honest, confident, and at ease with themselves. They don’t ask anything of us; they just embrace us right where we are. This in turn draws others to them. They are magnetic.
If having more love in your life is a priority for you, you can learn to become a magnet for love with these five simple steps.
- Cultivate Self-Love
What does this truly mean? How can you do it? Accept yourself fully! Accept your brilliance. One of my favorite examples of accepting your brilliance stems from the acorn. The acorn may be small, yet it holds a mighty oak inside. You are already complete. Simply become who you are. Just like the acorn, all your greatness is already there. Part of accepting yourself means celebrating your great qualities. A great exercise to help in this area is to identify ten of your best qualities or characteristics and write them down. Feel proud of your personal strengths. Ask others what they think your best qualities are, and even though it may be difficult, choose to believe them. If you get down on yourself, pull out the list and reread it.
As you generate love within for who you are, you radiate it outwards and attract it back in spades. All the vibrational energy you radiate creates the outcomes, the experiences, and the events of your life. When your vibration reflects your love and confidence and self-acceptance, you become a magnet for others operating at that same frequency.
- Discover Your Passions
Passion lives in your heart, not your head. Your heart and physical body contain wisdom far beyond the capacity of your mind, so slow down and take time to connect to your heart and inner wisdom. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of your questions. In the safe space of meditation, let your mind become quiet and listen to your heart’s answers. Here are some powerful questions to ask:
- What do you love to do?
- What would you do if you had all the money and time in the world?
- What do you love to talk about, learn about, or teach to others?
- What physical activities make you feel alive?
- What activities spark your creativity?
- What are the happiest parts of your life?
- How do you love to spend your days?
- What makes you smile?
- Share Your Light
If you want to expand your love, try this visualization technique: Imagine yourself as a giant magnet for love as you walk through your day with your body sending out magnetic waves that attract love to you. Attracting love into your life is ultimately not about what you get, but what you give. Smile. Be the light. Be the first to speak. A simple smile raises your vibration instantly, and when you smile, you radiate love! See if you can brighten someone's day by something you do or say. Shine your light of acceptance and joy on all whose lives intersect with yours, even for a moment. In doing so, you simultaneously surround yourself with love. Share your inner light with acts of kindness; by sharing your inner light with others, the light will grow not only in you, but will ripple out to each soul you meet.
Remember that the smallest acts of kindness can have the greatest impact. And when you offer your light, your capacity to love expands exponentially. There are hundreds of things you could say throughout the day to show appreciation for the people in your life. Even something small, like writing a quick note or making a phone call to say “I’m thinking about you” can make someone’s day. When you become a source of love and share it with your families, co-workers, friends, and communities, you become one with all the love that exists and it flows to you with power and grace. Take action and give of yourself but don't give to get in return. To truly become a magnet for love, share love without attachments and expectations.
- Open Your Heart and Let Go of Fear
Sometimes we fear that if we are truly open, we will get hurt. But seeing the beauty in others only hurts if we couple that with expectations of how they are supposed to respond. When you can see that there are gifts in everything, then there is nothing to fear. One of the most powerful ways to cultivate more love into your life is to let go of any attachments to how you think others should be, and be willing to accept them (and yourself) the way they are.
Thank, bless, and release those who are no longer in your life, and be grateful for the lessons they have taught you. Relationships can be such an amazing vehicle for growth. As you grow from past relationships, embracing the myriad ways in which your life lessons have come, you raise your vibration and attract others of higher vibration into your life. Make a conscious choice to open your heart to love regardless of what has happened in your past. Gratefully accept the lessons each moment brings (letting go of those ideals not met). Decide today that fearlessly sharing love will be a priority for you.
- Choose Optimism and Gratitude
To be optimistic is to know that everything is always working out for the highest good of you and everyone around you. Embrace laughter, joy, and lightheartedness. The world is stunningly beautiful when you walk around with your heart and eyes wide open. Seeing beauty is like seeing all the positive elements in the world. Sometimes it isn’t entirely obvious, yet just like looking for the positive and the good, seeing beauty can be practiced – and once you start noticing the beauty it’s easier to notice more and more.
Like any other skill, becoming a positive, optimistic person takes practice to develop. Positivity is a muscle and you must build it every day if you want to see any tangible results. Take it one moment at a time, one day at a time. Make a conscious choiceto see everything through the lens of love. Over time, optimism will become a natural aspect of who you are, and when negativity creeps in at times, you will quickly be able to get back on track and in vibrational harmony with the goodness of the universe.
The point of life and love is to let your heart be affected. Strive to touch the hearts of others and leave an impact on their hearts. Let your soul shine! Be authentic. There is nobody else on this earth just like you. Step into your truth wholeheartedly and find and live your passion and purpose. The world needs more love, light, and laughter. The more love you feel in your heart, the more love you will experience in the world. Radiate love and shine on. It’s amazing what people do for love, and it’s even more amazing what loves does to people. As always, choose love!