I am influencing positive change and growth around me at work, or among the people I meet and know, however I am feel like I am not being given credit for what I initiate. This has gradually intensified in the last year. Most of the times people just take my ideas and make them look like they are their own. This situation makes me very sad and I would like to get over that sadness. Should I stop giving ideas or suggestions to people? I think I am volunteering my help too much, but I don’t know how to stop. I have people at work that act like they hate me every time I say or do something. I was very successful and good at my job, but I and lowering my performance by the day and I am losing my passion for this. How do I break this pattern?
I recently took a 6 weeks stress leave, I quit smoking 3 weeks ago, but after a week back at work I feel the same way again and my energy level is lower than ever. I have never been in this situation before, and I would like to perhaps change it for the better. I would like to start my own business, but I am so exhausted that I lack in creativity and fear takes over.
Answer:
If it is hard to stop volunteering and making creative suggestions, then it is obviously your nature to do these things. Plus you have said that you are influencing others at work in a positive way. So you don’t need to try to stop what comes natural and is helping others.
What you need to do is change your expectations that others should be treating you differently. You have no control over what others think and do. You can’t make them respectful and grateful for your contributions. If you want to feel like a valued and respected person, then that is your job to do, not theirs. If you don’t feel that core worthiness inside of you, then it doesn’t matter how much praise and acknowledgement you receive from others, you won’t be able to take it in, and you won’t believe it.
You know your contributions are accepted and are beneficial. That should be indication enough to you that you are a valuable co-worker. You like to volunteer your help when needed and you are good at your job. You don’t need others to tell you what you already know.
It could be that if you really want to start your own business, you are looking for emotional excuses to justify leaving a job you are good at. Feeling unappreciated, tired and passionless may be your way to build a case to yourself why you have to get out of there. If that is what is going on, that’s fine too, but you owe it to yourself to be honest about it, claim it as your own decision and go for it in spite of the fear. Your life and your sense of well being depends upon you, not what others say or don’t say.
Love,
Deepak
