Arielle Ford is a nationally recognized speaker, publicist, marketing expert, producer, and author of several bestselling books, including The Soulmate Secret. She is now on a mission to make sure that everyone who desires to spend their life with a soul mate knows that it’s not only possible to find that person but highly probable if you commit a little time, energy, intention, and attention to your love life.
Arielle has helped thousands of men and women manifest the relationship of their dreams using a unique process based on the law of attraction and other timeless principles. In this interview Arielle shares the keys to attracting your soul mate and creating a loving long-term relationship.
How would you describe a “soul mate?”
Arielle: I believe a soul mate is someone we feel a deep and profound connection to. Someone with whom we feel completely ourselves with. Someone that we love unconditionally and they love us unconditionally. And when we look into their eyes we feel like we are “home.”
Do you believe everyone has a soul mate and is there only one or can we have more than one?
Arielle: Yes, I do and I believe that with a little focused time and energy everyone can find theirs. While most people think of a soul mate in romantic terms, I also believe that there are other kinds of soul mate relationships. For instance, look at the friendship and connection that Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King share. I would definitely call that a soul mate relationship. I also believe you can have pets that connect with you on such a deep level that they deserve to be called soul mates.
Why do you think so many people struggle with finding their true love?
Arielle: One of the most common reasons is that after a few bad relationships some people unconsciously shut down and give up. They no longer believe the right person is out there for them and while one part of them is saying “YES, I want a relationship,” the other part is saying “NO! I’m afraid to get hurt again.” A big part of manifesting love is preparing yourself by overcoming the emotional wounds and baggage that we all have.
In The Soulmate Secret there are processes, projects and emotional release techniques that assist in healing the heart and opening up to love. I wrote The Soulmate Secret so that everyone could have access to finding the relationship of their dreams.
What is the Universal Law that can be used to find your soul mate?
Arielle: It’s called the Law of Attraction and it says that you will attract to you those people, events and experiences that match your state of being. If you focus on having gratitude for the love, companionship and joy you have in your life right now, you will attract more of that into your life. If you focus on what you don’t have, you will send out a message of lack and you will attract more lack into your life.
In the movie Conversations with God, the character Neale says to God,
“I just want my life back.”
And God says to Neale,
“You can’t have anything that you want.”
They then have an entire dialogue where God explains to Neale that by “wanting something (or someone)” all you get to have is the experience, the feeling of wanting.
As part of the preparation to manifest your soul mate I suggest that you begin the process of “living as if.” This means that your daily actions become congruent with your beliefs.
What are the key steps to manifesting a soul mate?
Arielle: In addition to healing your heart from past relationships, you need to create a clear intention. The analogy I like to use it this: When you walk into your favorite coffee hangout what is the first thing you do? Place your order. You confidently tell the barista, “I will have a tall, half-caff, low-fat mocha latte, with a splash of non-sugar vanilla syrup to go.” The barista smiles, writes your order on the side of a cup and takes your money. Within minutes you are walking out the door with the precise, delicious cup of coffee that you ordered. Ordering up a soul mate from the Universe works in a similar way. It’s not always as instantaneous but it can be just as precise. But to have the Universe to deliver your perfect soul mate, you must first clearly place your order. This isn’t quite as easy as it sounds. You must first search your heart for what you really, really desire. By now you know what you don’t want but you need to ask for what you do want. In the Soulmate Kit we explain how to place your order by creating a detailed list and we then provide a variety of rituals to do to release your list to the Universe.
Tell us about the woman who used crayons to manifest her soul mate.
Arielle: Her name is Gayle and many years ago she was advised by her astrologer to put her intentions for a soul mate into the world by coloring a mandala. She took a black and white mandala and a rainbow of multi-colored pencils and began declaring her intentions while she colored in a space on the mandala. She asked for things like: finding the perfect spiritual friend and lover to go through life with; a man who is kind to animals; someone who would appreciate her sense of humor; a man who would be accepting and open to her spiritual quest. For each intention she used a different color until the entire mandala became a multi-hued Technicolor testimony to the qualities she desired in her future partner. Within weeks of doing this she met her soul mate and they have now been married for more than twenty years.
You prescribe “living as if.” What does that mean?
Arielle: Living as if means stepping outside of your current reality and stepping into the reality you wish to be true. It’s when your daily actions reflect and are congruent with your belief that your soul mate exists and is already yours. The best example of this was revealed to me by a famous actress. Once she became clear that she was ready to share her life with someone, she began living as if that person were already a part of her life. She would play music she imagined he would enjoy; she wore pretty nightgowns to bed instead of her typical T-shirt and sweats. Every morning she would feel that they were waking up and starting their day together, and every night at dinner she would light candles and set a place for him at the table. According to this actress, he eventually arrived. She sent a clear message to the Universe, and the Universe delivered. Now you may not be willing to set a table for two each night when you have dinner, but start to consider what you could do to generate the feeling that you are already sharing your life with your beloved. For example, buy tickets to a concert or play that is several months away, holding the intention that you will attend it with a hot date. Or the next time you are shopping for greeting cards, pick up a couple that would be fitting to give to your beloved on a birthday or to celebrate your anniversary, knowing that sometime soon that day will be here.
What is “Big Love” and how do you know when you’ve got it?
Arielle: Big Love is when soul mates come together and the world is a better place because of the love they share and generate. it’s when you and your soul mate have chemistry, a shared vision and spiritual path all at once. When you’ve got it, you know it.
One of the big myths many singles have bought into is “if I am meant to be with my soul mate, they will find me.” Does this really make sense?
If they needed to find a new job, would they simply sit on the couch saying, “if it’s meant to be for me to have a job, it will come find me?” Of course not. And yet, many people are living with this misbegotten myth that love, if it’s “meant to be,” will simply happen.