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Ask Deepak Archives
Send your questions to askdeepak@chopra.com
The World Lives Within You
Question:
I have just finished reading Journey Into Healing. It's a fascinating book and it's so exciting to know that the world we live in is nothing but like a swarm of bees, an "illusion of shape behind which the reality is pure change." However there was one thing I could not quite understand. You wrote "you believe that you live in the world, when in fact the world lives within you." My mind couldn't grasp this concept. How does this gigantic world reside within me and how am I standing on earth that is inside of me at the same time? Is it because the world is a projection of what my higher self projects on a screen that is as known as physical plane? I'm very confused.
Answer:
The hallucination of materialism is very strong and it pervades the very way we conceptualize ourselves. We tend to think of ourselves as localized entities occupying a defined space within the physical universe. The physical properties of our bodies are just artifacts of the perceptual filters of our consciousness that is generated from that constant buzz of unmanifest possibilities. We are not the body, we are that consciousness that gives rise to those experiences. That consciousness is non-local; it is everywhere, and not limited to being in any one place. When you know your true self, you realize that there is just one mind, one intelligence, one observer, one Being perceiving itself through the countless perspectives of different beings. That is the “you” that the world lives within. Your core being is the cosmic self that contains, permeates and generates all.
Love,
Deepak
Yoga Sutras and Yoga Vasistha
Question:
I have been integrating your wisdom for many years now and am following your "leads" to other sources of Vedic wisdom such as Patanjali, Nisargadatta Maharaj, and of course Vashistha... I'm not sure what you consider a beginner with regard to interpreting Spiritual Texts, as it were, but am intrigued by Vashistha's point of view none the less... My question is a simple one. I am asking you for a resource for finding and purchasing such texts as "The Yoga Sutras Of Patanjali" & "The Yoga Of Vashistha" etc.
I am not currently fluent in Sanskrit so a translation would be necessary, preferably a translation by someone you would accept for your own collection... A resource to purchase authentic Vedic wisdom from, which has been translated by an authentic "Vedic Resource"... Maybe, you? O.K., the next best will do...."LAUGH"
Answer:
The Yoga Sutras are an easy publication to find. If you want to save yourself the initial expense and read it first online, you can go to www.sacred-texts.org and find it under the Hindu section. If you then want a hard copy to study from, you will probably be fine with whatever you find available online. I have a few different translations. A good translation and commentary of the Yoga Sutras by I.K. Taimni is disguised in his title “The Science of Yoga.”
The Yoga Vasistha is a little harder to find. Swami Venkatesananda has done a nice abridged version called The Concise Yoga Vasistha. Another shortened version I like a lot is the Laghu-Yoga-Vasistha by
K.N. Aiyer. The unabridged English translation of the Yoga Vasistha is harder to come by outside of India, but you may have luck finding the 5 volume edition here by Swami Jyotir Maya Nanda.
I haven’t gotten around to attempting a translation of my own, and if I were you, I wouldn’t hold my breath on that project happening anytime soon either.
Love,
Deepak
Ego and Evolution:
Question:
Do you think that when we are in spiritual evolution we don’t really see our evolution? In the sense that if we would notice how we are advancing the ego would kick in and disturb all that evolution. It would surely say ''Look what I can do !''. This question comes at a moment that I realize that even if sometimes in the past, I was thinking that no evolution was going on, that the more I had answers the more I had questions, now I see from another point of view that there was a great evolution going on. Another example is that sometimes at my work I will feel stressed and not long after I would get the comment that I look so calm and Zen. That's how I notice that maybe even if we work hard on our spiritual life, the result is there but the ego does not see it.
Answer:
I think this is a deep insight; that the ego’s need to calculate and quantify our evolution is really just the ego’s way of maintaining its control and supremacy. If it believes you are making great progress, it is implicitly taking credit for that. It the ego judges that you are not evolving, then it is its way of putting you in your place, and at the same time the ego is assuming that it is the final arbitrary of your spirit life--stamping its authority over it.
The truth is life is constantly changing, we are always evolving as a matter of course. By becoming more aware of our essential nature, we can accelerate the process, but the exact determination of where we are spiritually and how fast we are evolving, is really beyond the ken of the ego’s comprehension.
Love,
Deepak
Talking and Silence
Question:
First of all, I must thank you, from the bottom of my heart/soul, which is infinite, for all that you have taught and given me. I am truly blessed, and more at peace with being a part of all of this, and you have carried me over realms that were beyond what I had dreamed. You are an extraordinary teacher, and I love you for it!
My question today is regarding the fact that since childhood, I have been a "gabber". I love to talk! I don't mean gossip or anything negative, I just love to talk to people and learn more about them. Due to this characteristic, I have been called "weird" more times than I care to remember in childhood, and "different" in adulthood. While I know that "I am what I am", as long as I am not hurting anyone, I also think of what Lao Tzu says, "He who speaks does not know, and he who knows does not speak". Is it time to silence myself, not only through meditation, but in social interactions? Thank you so much for your time!
Answer:
No, I don’t think it’s time to silence yourself. This is a basic part of who you are, how you enjoy life. It’s like people who love to dance all the time or those who are constantly singing.
In the oft quoted phrase, "He who speaks does not know, and he who knows does not speak," I think he was saying that the experience of unity consciousness is truly an ineffable mystery, full of contradictions, opposites and that anyone who tries to contain that limitless experience in finite words cannot possibly do it justice. He wasn’t trying to tell you to be quiet, just inviting you to go beyond words to the actual experience itself. So definitely, spend time in silent meditation, but afterward, since you love to talk, feel free to talk and be yourself.
Love,
Deepak
Desire and Happiness
Question:
If my desire is for happiness, then how does one remain detached from the outcome? Seems almost silly...
Answer:
An abiding state of happiness is not the product of desire. Real happiness is a state of Being, not something you do or achieve. That state of Being is your own inner joy that expresses the exuberance and wonder of being alive at this moment. It is not dependent upon your mood, or outer circumstances, it is your own self-luminous essence made conscious of itself. That Self is your silent witness, it is the one inside that is detached from sensory experience and at the same time enjoys that experience in complete freedom. It is silly, ….but in a good way.
Love,
Deepak
Pain in Meditation
Question:
Couple of days back in my meditation I noticed a wave of energy coming up and almost moving my mind 360 degrees. I did not want to limit it and wanted it to finish whatever it was doing but I could not keep away from it since it was very strong and thus the action stopped in between.
Now my problem is that I have a some pain/sensation in the centre of my head since couple of days. If possible can you shed some light on this.
Just to give you a background in the past year I have been doing a lot of soul searching, I have been reading you book/blogs and also Krishnamurti's website.
Answer:
It sounds like this wave of energy activated the release of some deep-seated stress or conditioning that has not yet fully released. Sometimes it can take a few days or even a couple of weeks for some deeply etched patterns to fully heal, and during that time it’s possible for there to be some discomfort in the body as the physical structure lets go of it. During this time, get extra sleep at night, and do yoga asanas and pranayama before your meditations. The headaches could go away at any time now.
Love,
Deepak
Big Goal Setting
Question:
I am regular reader of your books , Namaste ,and your fan too. I migrated from India before two years and now in USA.I have some question about goal setting. My ultimate or final spiritual goal is to do so many things for society, monks, spread spirit for vegetarianism, help mentally emotionally, and financially to poor people of India, remove misconception for our country (India) and spread our culture, religion, god, good points like non violence, ayurveda, yog, pranayam (which you are doing in excellent way and I get inspiration from you too.) Now to do all thing lot of money is required, but at present I have not sufficient fund to do so but my passion for all the things are intact. So how can I prepare programmeto give suggestion to my subconscious mind?
My questions are
1) I have to split my goal in separate category like, spiritual, financial, personal, and career?
2) At present I am doing job and my goal needs lot of money for charity, for that I have to give Suggestion to sub conscious mind for the amount need to accomplish my goal?
3) My spiritual, financial, and personal goals are almost connected with each other.
But I have to make my career still at my age of 44, as I am not satisfied with my career.
4) For selection of career I have to visualize only the end result like I have very good job which satisfy me ,earning of money at the required level, or I have to select the POSITION FOR JOB AND THE NAME OF COMPANY ALSO ?
Answer:
These are all wonderful, valuable goals, but to effectively connect your life energy to these lofty ideals, I would suggest you go back and reflect first on what you feel are your true strengths, gifts and passions. What do you have the ability to do now right where you are in your career and in your financial position. If you predicate your action on getting the finances and your career in place first, you may never get started. For instance, perhaps you could offer a non-credit course on Ayurveda at the local community college, or give a free lecture at the local library on the health and ecological benefits of a vegetarian diet. If you want to join others in a global effort, I’d encourage you to check our Alliance for a New Humanity at www.anhglobal.org. Once you get started in your efforts to make a change, Nature will come in and support and guide your work in the direction that is most needed.
Marcus Aurelius says: “Begin - to begin is half the work, let half still remain; again begin this, and you will have finished.”
By staying close to your strengths and passion and letting the outcome be directed by the infinite intelligence of the cosmos, we don’t get frustrated or obsessed and we remain effective agents of
transformation.
Love,
Deepak
Avoidance
Question:
Currently I'm investigating the thought that I'm "avoiding". Can you bring some clarity as to what "avoiding" means? For example, I have a large "to do" list. Any time I do one thing, in a sense I'm avoiding doing another thing. How does one prioritize and understand when it's just the ego saying "You should be doing something else" or when it's actually our inner intelligence or intuition telling us that we should be doing something else? I can't seem to tell the difference.
Answer:
Avoiding behavior is typically the mind’s preverbal response that the avoided action will be unpleasant. If you close your eyes and check inside for how your body feels about doing the action you will feel uncomfortable or agitated. When your intuition or inner guidance is steering you away from something, you will feel calm and relaxed inside if you do the same exercise.
So if your avoidance behavior is based on a story you are telling yourself about how difficult or unpleasant the task is, ask yourself: Do you really truly know how it will be? How could you? Once you see you are inventing a story about your future based on the past, you free yourself to approach the job with fresh eyes. You can follow your list of priorities with a sense of openness that it will be whatever it is, and not avoid them.
Love,
Deepak
Loveless Marriage
Question:
I was reading your thoughts about the law of least effort. Accepting people and your situation every day is a very helpful and joyful experience. My question is that I am in a loveless and emotionally abusive marriage. I have exhausted all means to try to make it work. If I am to accept people and situation then how do I handle this. Is a person suppose to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy physically and spiritually and try to accept. I am just trying to understand where we draw the line of acceptance.
Answer:
I think you need to draw the line at your personal safety. If that is assured, then you can work on basing your actions on the reality of your situation and not your story of the reality. You may benefit from Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is. In there you will learn to discern your story and what is implied in that from what you actually know. For instance, your statement “I am in a loveless marriage” You can ask yourself, “Is that true?” and “ Can I absolutely know that to be true?” Then ask yourself, “How does it feel to believe that ‘I am in a loveless marriage?’” What would you feel like without that belief? Then she outlines a process called turning it around in which you can recognize how you create your narrative. Once you have found a way to feel at peace with reality, then you will be in a position to make a clear-minded and open-hearted decision about what you would like to do.
Love,
Deepak
Transmuting Fear
Question:
I've read a few spiritual books which discuss 'transmutation of fears' - specifically, that by releasing your fears to the heavens they undergo transmutation. Do the ancient text/practices support the idea that fears can be 'changed' by taking them to a higher level? And if so, what does it mean to be undergo this 'transmutation' - do they become a 'good' intent or do the fears just become no more?
Any clarification on this would be greatly appreciated...
Thank you and may brilliance continue to shine on all you do.
Answer:
The ancient wisdom traditions speak of fear being born out of the perception of duality. That duality gives rise to the misperception that the object of experience is separate from the observer, and therefore something to be feared. The freedom from fear comes from the experience of the truth of unity at the root of our consciousness. In that experience of non-local awareness, that fear is dissolved. Just as a dark shadow at night brings fear it might be an attacker, that fear fades when passing headlights reveal it to be a harmless object.
Through constant experience of our true self, we en-lighten all the fearsome shadows of our psyche and let go them, or perhaps they let go of us.
Love,
Deepak
Releasing Unconscious Fear
Question:
I read your answer r.e. 'Law of Attention and Law of Attraction'. The law of attraction is related to the law of intention, but it emphasizes how we manifest in our lives through the principle of like attracting like. So it is more of a background, unconscious operation where if we are fearful, we attract fearful incidents. Regardless of the conscious content of our minds, we are broadcasting a certain tone or quality of consciousness that will attract a similar quality in our environment. Radiating the quality of peace, gratitude and abundance will automatically be reflected back in our lives. " My question is: if someone is unconsciously fearful and therefore attracting poverty; illness, etc., into their life, how can they clear this and replace (is this even the right word) it with unconscious radiating of peace, gratitude and abundance? I think you have touched on something very critical, because I wonder if it is possible to control our unconsciousness. This seems to tie in with the recent AA posting, because I remember thinking that it is one thing to consciously say that I believe in a higher or deeper self, but it seems to be quite separate from actually experiencing the higher self guiding one's life (manifesting qualities of the soul). Religion seems to teach us that we have to consciously try to manifest these qualities, but what I seem to be hearing in what you wrote is that when our soul is maifesting in
our life it comes from the unconscious level. Help.
Answer:
There are various ways we can influence our subconscious—hypnosis, EFT, psychotherapy, sheer repetition of an idea—but depending upon the depth of the unconscious pattern, it can bes urprisingly resilient and revert to its previous form. To complement and support these external modalities, I recommend a silent meditation practice that allows the mind to transcend the conscious and unconscious realms so that it experiences its true self, unconditioned by old patterns, fears or trauma. As that experience of the real self becomes more familiar through meditation, it dissolves that unconscious fear by providing the truth that reveals all fears to be groundless. That truth is that your core essence is identical with the essence of all creation. There is no other essence out there to be afraid of, it’s all consubstantial with you at it’s basis. That experience sounds very grandiose, but it’s very real and extremely practical. Read the experience of “Self-Realization at Sea” by the Norwegian-Iranian, where he recounts how that experience freed him from fear.
Love,
Deepak
Rishis and Zen
Question:
First, could you recommend a good book on the history of the Vedic Rishis if there is such a thing. I have not found much out there.
Secondly when it comes to using meditation to achieve stillness towards liberation, it seems that we have two camps: one tells us to "do" a lot of things, the other, to just sit. Zen of course is squarely in the second camp although there is chanting and a few other things by and large we just sit. I wonder how you feel about the Zen approach?
Thank you for your time and wonderful insights.
Answer:
I haven’t discovered much written material on Vedic rishis either. But to get pointed in the right direction, you can’t do much better than David Frawley’s Wisdom of the Ancient Seers and Gods, Sages and Kings.
Regarding Zen, I think it is a wonderful and powerful approach. What is more important however, is finding a practice that suits your temperament. After all, most of these paths have proven their effectiveness for thousands of years, so they all work. You want to find something that you will be drawn to every day.
Love,
Deepak
Least Effort
Question:
I am reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. In the chapter The law of least effort I see it says - When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature's intelligence. What does this mean and why does it cut off the flow of energy to yourself and interfere with the expression of nature's intelligence? If I decide to set the intention to manifest $250,000 or create it through investing or working purely so I can buy a boat just for me because I believe I deserve it and I believe I'm worth it - how can that be energetically
counterproductive?
Answer:
In the context of the lesson on least effort, I was writing about how nature functions economically and effortlessly because it operates harmoniously as one. When you seek money or possessions only for yourself, your ego is effectively trying tocompartmentalize nature. You are not asking for your desires to be fulfilled in the context of the wholeness of life, but rather they should be fulfilled on your terms because you don’t see why not.
Regardless of the purity of your work or your inherent deservabilty, this insistence that the universe work only for what you want, goes against the grain of how nature works and is energetically counterproductive.
Love,
Deepak
Elusive Love
Question:
I’ve been listening to your audiobooks and reading a lot lately, and started to understand something about certain patterns I’ve been following since I remember. I am a 37 years old woman, songwriter, and I just started to work by my own along with my brother in our own business (IT services). My life as an individual has been developing steady and I feel truly blessed with my present situation: I started to become that person I’ve always dreamed of as I exercise regularly, I express myself creatively, I am starting to be self-employed and I have a beautiful family that supports me. I live by my own in a nice place that I care with love. All these realities are manifesting in this time of my life.
There is one part of me that seems to be elusive and it is the area of romantic relationships. The last time I kissed someone was 8 years ago. Before that, my relationships where not healthy, and after that, there were not relationships at all. I believe I’ve been alone because my intention of growing and becoming a better person needed of this break so I could examine myself closely because -when falling in love-my life became chaotic, and I always had the tendency of believing that the man I wanted to be with couldn’t like me, so, what created anxiety. I’ve seen myself in repeated occasions declaring my “love” to men, expecting rejection, and then feel like dying when my fears were confirmed.
This has been my systematic behavior in my love life and I have been looking for “fixing” this part of myself as I deeply yearn for feeling the love of a man who I love. I am seeing clearly that my behavior is the responsible of my experiences with love: fear of abandonment, fear of letting go, fear of being loved... It is funny (well, not really),that at the moment that I like someone I start to feel that this person will not like me, so I start acting in a way that, if the person was interested before, then probably he changes his mind then. As a constant as well, this type of relationship (me in love with a guy who does not want to be with me but somehow keeps being around) can last for years, what confuses me even more... I always think, if I was them, I would run away. However, these guys don’t. They stay around, they are friendly, they like me although they don’t get involved romantically,
and I dream with being with them for long times... until someone new appears in my life and I repeat a new story.
I have honestly tried to fix this on myself. I certainly want to be happy and share my live and receive love in a healthy way. I pray everyday, I want to experience the freedom of love.
Your books have been extremely powerful to me. I know I can remedy this situation and I want to share love and discover the mysteries of a man-woman relationship and grow.
Would you please be so kind of giving me some advice? Do you know where this fear comes from? How it works? Why it exist? How I can free myself of it?
Answer:
These fears of abandonment, fear of letting go of control, and fear of being loved are based on the misinterpretation of your past experiences in which you didn’t know your true self. In that state of ignorance, you understood rejection as confirmation that you weren’t inherently lovable.
Until you know your real nature as love, truth and joy, you will repeat the pattern of thinking you don’t deserve love, and will keep creating doomed relationships to validate your lack of appreciation of yourself. Finding and experiencing your true loving essence will provide real emotional fulfillment and will automatically reorient you from your current tendency to look to others for validation of your lovability. Successful relationships are based on your ability to give love from the fullness of your Being, and not on how much you want to love and be loved. The cup of love must be full before it can overflow for others.
Love,
Deepak
Is There A God?
Question:
I would like to know if there is a God. Its very difficult at this age with all the different opinions going around. Are the atheists right too?
Answer:
There have always been different opinions about God, and that is not likely to change anytime soon. The atheists are right to the extent that if they have no experience of God, then God does not exist for them. Our experience of God, or of any reality, is based on the clarity of our consciousness. I can’t tell you if God is a reality for you or not, but I can say that the path of self-realization is the way to determine that for yourself. I wrote a book a few years ago called How to Know God, in which I have outlined the milestones of this journey which spiritual travellers have trodden in the past and the common experiences they have handed down to us. Happy travelling.
Love,
Deepak
Being and Action
Question:
I've been on a type of spiritual path since I turned about of 20. I say 'type' because it's not particular to any traditional path and unique to who I am. I'm not 'religious' as I don't believe in the structured form of religion. I believe in the divine in all. I do not believe in evil vs. good as these are human constructs. However, I am struggling with the 'being' is enough. This is very hard for me to fathom as I believe we all have a 'divine path' a need to share our spirit with the world, in the work we do. Why I am struggling with this is someone once gave me some advice that it's not the 'doing on earth' that I should focus on - but the 'being.' I do this all the time through meditation but still have this intense need to 'do.' I have to move - in order to feel 'right' with myself. Then I started to think - maybe I have it wrong? Maybe I need to really just take more than the 30 minutes a day I use for meditation, quit my job and spend my time as a spiritual seeker through meditation all the time...
Anyway, I'm somewhat confused by the 'be' requirement of spiritual mastery. Maybe you can shed some enlightenment.
BTW: I'm also contemplating the whole 'teacher' idea - meaning do I need a 'teacher' at all in the physical sense? Is it possible to continue to read spiritual books on your own without the guidance of a physical person to give you guidance through meditation etc.
Answer:
I agree that the divine path we walk and through which we share our spirit with the world is an action. However, when we are fully awake to our being, then being and action are not incompatible, and in fact are complementary. Emphasizing the priority of Being before action is important, because action is a given as long as we animate a physical body, but self-realization isn’t, and by putting the emphasis on Being, ensures that our action will have the most evolutionary influence upon ourselves and the environment as a whole.
Love,
Deepak
Passion Without Ego
Question:
How we can differentiate the desires of our ego with the passion that comes from our inner self? When I feel with "all my heart" that I need to do something, and my heart is literally bumping fast when I have this feeling... how do I know it is not my ego leading?
Answer:
Passionate action that is led by the ego has a feeling of neediness in it. There is a sense that the outcome “has to be”. When passionate action comes from the higher self, there is a feeling of completeness and peacefulness inherent throughout the process. Inside there is a feeling of fulfillment already, and so there is no desperation or sense of lack at any point in the desire or action-it feels easy and enjoyable from beginning to end.
Love,
Deepak
Dream Life
Question: Please could you give me your opinion on where my dreams are coming from. I know you have said previously that dreams are parts of ourselves, but mine honestly don't seem to be. Each night I travel a world every bit as real and structured as this one. The people are complete strangers----yet I know them well in the dreams----- and the life is as structured and real as the waking world. These dreams are not fragments of my day's happenings and my imagination could never invent them. The strange part is I feel exactly like myself, only as i should be! By that, I mean no physical ailments at all and no emotional ones, like insecurity or doubt. I am free , and yet the dreams are not always pleasant---just another life. And when I wake up, I am so tired---like I have been out all night and need to go to bed. My question is, could I really be living another life ''in spirit" at night? Is it possible this is my after-life? I would love your answer.
Answer:
While most dreams are the resolution and projections of unresolved events and feelings from the day’s activity, there are exceptions, and your situation seems to fall into the exceptions category. Every state of consciousness has its corresponding reality. The dream state of consciousness also has its own world or reality that is free of the limitations of 3dimensional space and time. Typically people enter the dream state for a kind of passive recovery process to help rectify imbalances accumulated during waking state. But there are times when it is appropriate to use this dream state of consciousness more actively to relate information or gain some particular experience that isn’t available through other channels. That is what is happening in your case, and that is also why you feel tired when you wake up. There is no reason to be concerned, it will sort itself out exactly as it needs to.
Love,
Deepak
Christianity, Science, Spirituality and Evolution
Question:
As I understand, Christians do not believe that man is a product of evolution. Science and Spirituality firmly maintain that man is an evolutionary product (if I carry a wrong notion, pl. do correct me).
Considering the enormous population of Christians and their presence in all walks of life and in positions of power, how do you think that the global community will ever reach a consensus on this? Is it not a crucial requirement for aligning the tangential directions the humanity is walking on?
Answer:
I don’t see the concept of evolution to the major sticking point in aligning humanity’s disparate energies. If Christians adopted the enlightened awareness that Jesus lived by, that would be more than enough to provide align planetary consciousness you speak of.
And while there are many Christians who only accept a literal interpretation of Genesis and do not believe in any form of evolution of the human species, there are many who do. You may want to read Pierre Teilhard de Chardin’s The Phenomenon of Man. He was a Jesuit priest who was also a trained geologist and paleontologist. He wrote about the evoluton of life proceeds in a purpose driven direction from the cell to organism to the planet and the entire universe. On the spiritual level he also spoke of the evolution of the collective consciousness of humanity (noosphere) developing to the omega point, which is essentially a return home to God.
Although his teachings were never formally endorsed by the Catholic Church, (and in many cases denounced) they were neverthelesswidely read and enormously influential, and Pope John XXVIII partially redeemed his contributions posthumously.
Love,
Deepak
Is There a God?
Question:
I would like to know if there is a God. Its very difficult at this age with all the different opinions going around. Are the atheists right too.
Answer:
You’re right, there are many opinions going around. Instead of adding to that mountain of opinions, I would encourage you to begin meditation and go on an inner exploration of your consciousness to discover for yourself what is real about God for you. In my book How To Know God, I outline the traditional spiritual stages of experience in this unfoldment of consciousness toward enlightenment.
In my last book, The Third Jesus I encourage spiritual aspirants to use Jesus’ life and teachings as a clarion call to transform their consciousness, so that they can move take this discussion of God out of
the realm of theological opinions to a living, breathing reality of their own God consciousness.
Love,
Deepak
Origins of Speech
Question:
When we speak, what (or who) exactly is doing the speaking? It seems as though the human body alone could not talk without inspiration of Spirit, but the Spirit seems too good and nice to say some of the things that we do. If it were the ego, some of the things we say wouldseem to nice for it. Please clarify where our speech comes from on a metaphysical, not physical, level.
Answer:
The process of speaking obviously is a voluntary action controlled by the neural signals from the brain. But intention to speak is born in consciousness and the nervous system and corresponding muscles are just carrying out the wish of the non-local awareness we call mind. This level of non-material functioning of consciousness is not necessarily fully awake yet, so it operates as conditioned ego and therefore doesn’t reflect the divine attributes you ascribe to Spirit which I would call our higher self.
Love,
Deepak
Least Effort
Question:
I have pondered on this Law long and hard and at one level it makes sense. As I read it, one’s path to success should feel effortless e.g. grass doesn’t try to grow it just does. I am three quarters through my life and am just realizing that I have become addicted to taking the hardest path.
I had a career in the military (Commandos). Looking back I was not particularly well suited to this, I had to struggle to get even satisfactory results but forced myself to make a moderate success of my career. Before retiring I became involved in network marketing but this has proved to be a monumental struggle for me and little to show for it. I have tried trading on the financial markets but again struggle to achieve anything. The harder things are the harder I try but perversely I have linked this with some sort of pleasure.
Recently I got into a new relationship which I think I have now destroyed by subconsciously forcing it into something it was not. So I think I have been fighting against the universe all my life. Now here is something really odd: on leaving the military I re-trained as an electrician. I am a very good electrician, I don’t advertise, work floods in from recommendations. People appear immediately attracted to me, I virtually never have quotations for work turned down. Money flows to me without effort. People heap praise on me. But I hate being an electrician. Why I am not entirely sure why but I feel I am not challenged, for once I am not going against the flow and don’t’ like it. I also want more out of life than being an electrician can
give me.
So what is my specific question? It is this, how can one possibly achieve personal goals, affluence etc by just going with the flow? Surely one needs iron hard determination and discipline to do this?
Answer:
Some people, like yourself, have an inner purpose that is served by a striving that may not bring conventional success along with it. The law of least effort doesn’t mean no activity, and I think the important factor here is that you get pleasure in challenging work. The pleasure you feel from those activities comes from the sense inside that you are growing and becoming stronger, because that is what you need to do. It’s not a perverse sense of enjoying failure. In your case, functioning in accord with the flow of Nature doesn’t mean you are passively drifting, it means you are exercising your energy and intelligence into something that feels necessary for you at the time. Even if those endeavors have not been lucrative, they have served a more important role in activating your consciousness and moving your life forward. Nature has provided the electrician avocation as a way to
financially support you so you can pursue the activities that interest you.
Love,
Deepak
Mirror Exercise
Question:
In the mirror exercise today (in Soular Energy you suggested that we recognize traits in people that we both admire and dislike as being our own as well. I find that when I recognize traits that I dislike in someone else in myself, I dislike myself even more - hate might even be a more appropriate word. While I cannot begin to know the circumstances that bring about others' traits, I find that where I am concerned there is no excuse. I prefer to let other people be who they are, and just try to improve the way I live my life. It is then that I really feel the need for God's compassion.
Answer:
When we do shadow work in which we look at unflattering traits in our personality, it is important to do it from the reference point of our higher self. From the perspective of the silent witness, we know that these traits are not our real self, they are the costumes we wear to play our roles or saint and sinner, wise person or the fool. Finding that you have the costume to play the villain sometimes should not confuse you into thinking that you are the villain, and send you into self-hated, any more than finding the monks robes should make you feel virtuous. Rather, the mirror exercise is an opportunity to become free of the ego’s snare of trying to convince us that we are something less than pure, unlimited divine consciousness. We see that the positive and negative traits we see in others we have projected from our own internal wardrobe. These costumes do not merit our affection or hatred, they are simply props used to play our various roles.
Love,
Deepak
Speaking in Tongues
Question:
I am a recent listener on Sirius for a few months and I enjoy your show greatly. My question is, that after growing up in Pentecostal church, and leaving it as an adult, I am troubled by their belief that no one is "saved" unless they "are filled with the Holy Ghost, as evidenced by speaking in tongues". They believe that even if you are baptised, believe in God, try to live a clean and honest life, that unless you babble in an unknown language for a word or more, you cannot go to heaven. In my searching for spiritualism, this is one thought that keeps coming to the forefront--can it possibly be true, even though my inner self tells me no. I would love you insight into this.
Answer:
The Holy Spirit is generally recognized in Christianity as the animating, guiding power of the Divine manifesting in our lives. The gifts of the Holy Spirit are commonly thought to include teaching, knowledge, giving, and mercy. The gift of tongues and prophecy as exclusive signs of salvation by the Holy Spirit is a very limited perspective, and isn’t worth much consideration given all the enlightened people from all cultures and all eras who have clearly reached the acme of human potential without having had the experience of speaking in tongues.
Love,
Deepak
Enlightened Alcoholics Anonymous
Question:
Please permit me to say how grateful I am to you for all the countless ways you have influenced my life through your talks and many books. That being said, if you don't mind, I wish to contribute some insight to some comments with regards to AA you had made on your Saturday radio broad cast (I tune as often as I can).
I have been sober for more than fifteen years and I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. About the same time that I embarked upon this journey of becoming a "recovered" alcoholic, I came in contact with your beautiful book "The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success." It has echoed all of the fundamental ideas I have come to love about Alcoholics Anonymous. The transformation of thought through a spiritual experience, as you know, is the essence of the AA program.
There was a period in my recovery from chronic alcoholism when I tried to induce my own spiritual experience through yoga and intensive Jungian psychotherapy without AA and the Twelve Steps. I learned a lot about myself and the teachings of Hatha yoga. However, I was not achieving the vital psychic change that is necessary to overcome chronic alcoholism. I was about seven years sober at that time and I was still plagued by fear and depression (drinking was but a symptom of my alcoholism). I was what is commonly called a "dry" drunk. At the end of that period I came in contact with someone (sponsor/teacher) in AA who guided me through the Twelve Steps as they are outlined in the book "Alcoholics Anonymous."
That man saw that I was in trouble and did not waste any time in moving me through the work, about a step a week. We simply followed the directions as they are laid out in the general text. As a result of that work, I had begun to have a very powerful and sudden spiritual experience.
Unfortunately, even in AA, there is some confusion as to what is meant by "working the program." The program is the Twelve Steps of recovery as they have been out lined in the first 164 pages of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous." In the chapter "We Agnostics" of that book it
simply states-
"Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves (ego). Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power (God) greater than yourself (ego) which will solve your problem."
Further on in that same chapter (pg.55) it reads that "Power" is inside all of us (that is clearly reiterated in other areas of the text as well). We just need to search for and gain access to it. That is what the Twelve Steps are designed to do and that has been my experience. Because as alcoholics "we have not been only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically (pg.64 of the general text)."
The last step states (Step Twelve) "Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps (lack of Power - finding a Power), we tried to carry this message (The Twelve Steps) to alcoholics, and to practice these principals (The Twelve Steps) in all our affairs (love and service)."
I no longer view myself as "powerless." On the contrary, as the Steps clearly state in the AA literature, do to having had a spiritual experience sufficient to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, I have gained access to a Power (God consciousness) greater than myself (ego). I am no longer powerless. That Power dwells within me and has "solved" my problem. I am not cured (I can never safely drink alcohol again) but I am recovered (I no longer crave
alcohol) . I have a sense of being and happiness that is indescribably wonderful.
As for the word "alcoholic," I respectfully disagree with your interpretation as to it being "negative." Although I am sure for many it is just that. For me the word has been transformed into an incredibly "positive" thing. My alcoholism has been the illness (my
spiritual thirst and sickness) that has brought me closer to God. It now means liberation and union with God. I am immensely grateful that I am an alcoholic and I would not have it any other way, even if I could.
Answer:
I love the way you have explained the spiritual foundation of the AA program. You have laid out beautifully how that power is not ego, but the divine self. I have never heard it explained so well before. I wish everyone in the program received such a profound introduction to the steps as you have. I suspect as you stated in your letter, that there is unfortunately confusion about “working the program.” I hope you and others like your sponsor, will continue your work helping others overcome their alcohol addiction through this enlightened understanding of AA.
Love,
Deepak
Christ and Eastern Philosophy
Question:
I am currently reading "Power, Freedom And Grace" which is so wonderfully compact and mind-boggling in the real sense of the word.
I am a German-American woman, 45 years old, who has become "religious" in the year 2000. I was always a cynical atheist before that, but SEARCHING. Then I had an "experience" in a Catholic church in NYC one day( I come from a Protestant background, though none of our family members were religious in the true sense) and suddenly believed in god. Well, you can tell, I am still stumbling along now.
I have lived in Delhi during the last 3 years, probably as the only white woman in the whole of the trans-Yamuna region, and I have had the chance to observe Hindus and their traditions. I have read books by all sorts of "masters, or gurus": OSHO, yourself, Anthony DeMello, Dalai Lama, Charlotte Yoko Beck, Wayne Dyer, concerning Tao, Sufism, Buddhism, Zen, Christianity, Meditation etc. to mention a few, and now with YOUR small book on power, freedom, and grace, I am wondering: Is it possible to be a Christian believer and worshipper of Jesus, believing in the trinity and baptism and all these things when one is convinced that how YOU explain the world with its once source, pure consciousness, effortlessness and the benevolent universe etc etc. is really the only TRUTH?????
Can metaphors, analogies and stories of the bible still help the modern people?
Have Western religious leaders not really missed the boat by not addressing the real problems of affluent Western people and thus ignoring the incredible insight of Eastern philosophy?
Answer:
Yes, it is possible to be a Christian believer and follower of Jesus and still recognize the universal consciousness at work in all things. We do this by actualizing our inner potential, our Christ consciousness, and living that state of awareness that Jesus lived. The enlightenment of God consciousness is the same dignity of life in the Western hemisphere as it is in the Eastern hemisphere. This is the subject of my latest book The Third Jesus which I am on a book tour speaking about these days. I am finding that many people are thirsty for just this experiential connection of their consciousness to the message of enlightenment that Jesus represented, because it is a tradition that is deeply familiar to them even if they have left behind the dogmatic constrictions that have accumulated of the millennia.
Love,
Deepak
Depression
Question:
I have read your book ‘Life After Death, The Burden of Proof’ and found it interesting. I have throughout my life (I’m forty four) suffered from depression of varying intensities, and in an effort to combat it, have sought help from more sources than I can remember, medical, both pharmaceutical (Prozac for eighteen months some ten years ago) and psychological, (numerous forms of therapy), and occasionally spiritual, with vague investigations into various metaphysical and non-metaphysical philosophies that seem to offer a route to if not happiness, then at least a state of understanding or peaceful equilibrium.
At some point, I have found all routes wanting, (or perhaps my innate laziness makes me give up before applying myself, I’m unsure) and after a bad experience coming off Prozac, I’m determined never to use pharmaceutical help again. And yet as I age, I find the problems growing worse, despite my living conditions and circumstances being by most peoples standards, little short of idyllic.
I live in two universes identical to each other in almost every way, and yet in one, I wake to find it a black, empty, hopeless abyss where everything is meaningless and all effort to make sense of it is pointless. It is a world in which I eventually give in to the hopelessness, and lie almost motionless, sometimes for three or four days at a time, waiting for the blackness to pass, dreading that one day it may not pass and become a permanent state. In this frame of mind, humanity seems to be a virus crawling on the planet, intent on self-destruction, and I despise it and almost welcome it’s inevitable
demise.
The other universe (which I seem to visit less frequently) is full of possibilities, has purpose, and regardless of what may or may not follow, is a life that is there to be enjoyed. A journey that is a delight to be on with a genuine sense of fulfillment as it evolves, in which I take joy in my work, (I’m a composer of music for film and television and a songwriter) and in my relationships, and take pleasure in contributing in some small way to improving the world.
Both these universes are equally real to me. Both are consistent and tangible. Both have valid interpretations. Rationally, it is quite clear which life is the one worth living and if I could, I would choose it every day. And yet clearly I, or perhaps my subconscious, fails to make this obvious choice and I awake some days with an absolute numbness and desperation as I realise which universe I have awoken in.
And so my question; inevitably. How can I do better? And please, I understand about so many of the obvious physical routes that can help, triggering endorphins by running etc etc. This malaise and subsequent inertia, runs much deeper than the obvious fixes that have never worked for me. I’m not religious, but I sometimes envy those who are. Those who have an absolute certainty in a higher power that has some kind of plan and purpose. I have tried to be open to such an idea but without some life-changing religious experience, it just hasn’t worked for me. The moment a good idea becomes a dogma with an imposed set of rules and regulations, I’m afraid I smell the worst of humanity and little sense of the God it supposedly represents.
All rather bleak I know and I’m sorry. On a good day, I’m considered to have a well-tuned sense of humour, but you’ll understand that one doesn’t write an email like this one, in that frame of mind.
Perhaps I should mention also that I live mostly in France, although I also have a home in London/ England which I visit once a month or more.
Without wishing to sound melodramatic, I’d be extremely grateful for any advice you may have.
Answer:
I would recommend that you begin a meditation practice that gives you direct experience of the silent self. This won’t necessarily cure your depression, but from your account of shifting between the two universes, it is apparent that you lack a firm foundational perspective outside those frames of reference. Meditation can reveal that silent observer within you that is independent of the universe you are observing. This core self is not a philosophical or theological concept, it is an experience of your authentic existence. With an established sense of the silent witness, it will easier to not become identified with the darkness of your depressed days. That in itself can be a critical factor in making that time an effective healing period instead of a nightmare you are hoping to survive.
The other thing that comes to my mind is that you need to get out of the house/apt. and perform some service or volunteer work for others. If you know you need to play some music at a hospital, nursing home or school, every Tuesday and Thursday, then you will have a external push to keep your emotional inertia from taking root, and it forces a bracing reality upon you that your present reality is not really what your depression is trying to convince you it is.
Aside from these points, please continue with the exercise, counseling and lifestyle habits that have been shown to be useful. Don’t expect any one of them to solve the problem completely. What you are looking for is support for your inner healing intelligence to correct the imbalance, and after a lifetime of depression, that is not going to happen instantly.
Love,
Deepak
Heart Meditation
Question:
The other day whilst reading The Path to Love, I attempted your heart-meditation. Usually I feel as if nothing happens when I meditate, no matter how relaxed I am or how focused. I am going to look into classes or something for this, but the other day when I was 'meditating' on my heart, the weirdest thing happened.
I felt my mind wandering and so naturally, I tried to bring my focus back. But then (I guess this is the only way I can explain this) in my 'mind's eye' I saw an old, thin man. I don't know who he is, and I felt like he was talking, mumbling and I couldn't bring my attention back to my heart. When I tried to, he talked louder and seemed angry that I wasn't listening, or something! So in my mind I told him I was busy, to go away for a while.
I feel like I am going crazy because I got worried and had a break, and attempted again. This time I saw a door, and two women who I also had no idea who they were (I can't see their faces or anything, it's all very vague) and they were talking amongst themselves.
Am I going crazy!? Or was I just falling into the first stages of sleep, or something? I really don't know what's going on and I feel like maybe I'm just making this stuff up without knowing??!
Answer:
The images that emerged in your heart meditation are just the by-product of the purification process that I describe in the book. You deal with it the same way you deal with any physical sensation or emotion that comes up as a result of the meditation to reconnect you to your heart. So there is nothing to be worried about here. This kind of purification is an integral part of the process.
You had the right idea in bringing your attention back to the meditation process when the images popped up, you just got a little bit too distracted by them thinking there was some personal message in there for you to listen to or decode. When you meditate, just stick to the process, regardless of what form the purification or release takes on. Energetically it’s all the same…it’s old conditioning that is leaving you and doesn’t need further analysis because it is already going. Getting fascinated by it can only sidetrack you or get you re-involved in it.
Love,
Deepak
Kundalini Experiences
Question:
I am a young woman living in Iran. It's near to 5 years that i have had Kundalini experiences, Out of body experience, light, sounds and so on. do Kundalini choose the person who experiences it? would you tell what it really is? is it belong to any religion or it is something out of these boundaries? it seems to help people in their spiritual development. is it true? would you tell me it is a common experience or there are just few people who experience it? and what is it's goal? is not five year enough time to reach any goal? would you respectfully give me any information which seem to help me? thank you
Answer:
Kundalini experiences are sensations and movements associated with the awakening of the primal creative force at the base of the spinal column and its transforming influence as it rises up to the top of the head activating and purifying the chakras in its path. This ultimately culminates in the self-realization or enlightenment. Given the immensity of this goal, five years is not necessarily enough time to reach that goal.
These experiences can range from the almost indiscernible to the very intense and almost incapacitating. These experiences may not be common among the general population, but among those who are dedicated to their complete spiritual awakening, some variety of these experiences will eventually happen at some point in their journey. Since it is related to a psycho-physiological transformation, it is independent of any religion, philosophy or belief system.
The best attitude to take with these experiences is pleasant indifference. Don’t encourage the experiences nor try to stop them. They are self-limiting if you don’t interfere with them, and so they will accomplish what needs to be done and then go away when that is complete.
Love,
Deepak
The Right to Seek God
Question:
I have not read any of your books yet, though I just took one out of the library. It is the one about spiritual steps. Here is my question. I suppose most people feel comfortable looking for God. However, what if a person had committed a heinous crime (even if they had gone to prison for it) how could they look for God.?
Answer:
Anyone can look for God, and what soul can feel the need for the God more acutely than a penitent?
There may be some amongst us who have erred more than others, but it is only a matter of degree. None of us are all good or all bad. We are all some combination of sinner and saint. If only perfect souls had the right to seek God, then no one would qualify. All of us are in various stages of our journey home, and we all deserve to be return home.
Love,
Deepak
Afterlife Dilemma
Question:
I don't really know who you are and I haven't heard much about you, but I need some direction. I am really struggling with my faith. I grew up in a Christian home and was raised in the typical way with sound biblical teaching of not only doom but of God's grace and forgiveness. But I have a problem. I can't believe that God will send someone to hell for not accepting Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. It isn't that I don't accept him, because I do, but I know people who haven't and are beautiful people. I also am looking for a real experience not only an experience but also a relationship and well just something real. I believe that God has given me wisdom and has told me some things that just don't coincide with some of the teaching of the bible. My mom has verses that reinforce what I believe God has given me, but there are other verses that seem to contradict what I am coming to believe. All of my life I have been taught that there are demons out there trying to deceive even the "elect". So even though I believe that God has given me peace about what I was shown, there is still a fear that it will lead me astray and I won't be able to call myself a Christian any more and that I will go to hell. I don't know what to do. I don't like to be fearful and I want to have peace in my life. What should I do?
Please Help I don't know where to turn. I know what the pastor would say. That I need to read my bible more and just trust that God knows what he is doing. I say that we were made in His image and if I can't imagine sending someone to hell for not accepting him then He won't either. And furthermore I believe you get what you believe. That to me means if you're Hindu or Buddhist, or Mormon or wiccan that you get whatever your "religion" said will happen when you die. So do you see my dilemma. I have always been a person who believed that old saying. "God said it, I believe it, that settles it." But that isn't enough anymore. Thank you in advance for a response.
Answer:
This mental struggle with your faith may not feel that great, but it is being generated from a part of you that knows that God’s love is universal and unconditional. That is a good place to have arrived at through your own searching. There will always be scriptural verses that can be interpreted to contradict whatever understanding you come to, and tell you that you will go to hell. But if you let the quiet still voice of your heart be your guide, then you will be drawing from the unfiltered source of wisdom that all scriptures are derived from.
Since you know you will get the afterlife you believe in, that means you can free yourself from the historical and cultural accruements to your religious ideas and find the more liberating experience that is closer to the unadulterated truth.
Love,
Deepak
Finding Love
Question:
I hope you are very well. I am writing from Dublin, Ireland. I have found your work to be very helpful to me. I attended a talk you gave in the National Concert Hall here about 2 years ago and really enjoyed it. About 8 months ago I read Synchrodestiny and have been using the sutras to meditate daily since. I feel very in touch with the rhythm of the universe. Many positive occurrences and coincidences have happened for me.
I am a hatha yoga teacher and practice reiki. I have found huge fulfillment in my work and am very happy about that. I suppose the last while alot of growth has happened for me personally and in terms of my career which is brilliant. I am now 26 and I would like to meet somebody who I can live, love, co-create and learn with, helping each other along our individual spiritual path. I am nurturing my own inner peace and self referral and do feel I have grown in this area. I do have a huge desire to meet someone but I also want to maintain my strong connection to myself and my own precious peace. In the past I looked for my security from the relationship rather than finding it within myself. Also I sometimes feel insecure around people I really like, which I suppose is normal. But I want to feel really deserving of my greatest desire! I also really want to meet somebody who is very connected with themselves. I have set this intention and do believe that all that it will all happen at the right time as everything occurs in its own rhythm. I'd appreciate your wisdom on how to nurture love that is right for me and can last a life time. Thank you so much for all the inspiration and wisdom.
Answer:
You sound like a mature, conscious woman. I’m sure you will attract a mate that reflects your values and direction. I think you are approaching this desire for a partner in a healthy way by establishing within yourself the kind of person you want to be, and then letting that organize the right complementary partner, instead of striving to find someone to complete you and make you happy. By cultivating that love within you first, you will ensure that your relationships will always be filled with love.
Love,
Deepak
Serving and Giving
Question:
I read and listen on serving / giving. If I serve or give more to the Nature (birds, animals, trees) than to the humans - then the law of giving will have same effect? OR What is difference between serving or giving to the humans and serving / giving to the other living ones (except human)? pls answer
Answer:
Kindness and compassion that is shown through service will have the same beneficial influence whether it is directed toward human beings or whether it is for other living beings. The world needs
selfless service in all avenues of expression. Some people are drawn to help save the rainforests, others to volunteering at an animal shelter, and for some it may to tutor kids after school. What matters is finding something you are good at, something that stirs your passion, and then to take action.
Love,
Deepak
Alcoholics Anonymous
Question:
I was a bit shocked at your opinion on AA on a Saturday Radio talk. You were talking about addictions and the addicts need for Spiritual fulfillment of some sort as a underlying cause or reason for using. I agree, however you stated that AA was not enough or did not go deep enough. This is where I would like to express my debate.
The soul purpose of recovery in AA is for the person to find and develop a conscious contact with a power greater than themselves, God, if we so choose. Humility, being the key to success and growth. If you take a look at the depth of the steps in a development progress you would see clearly the intention of the whole program. Ego deflation at depth is required to attain the level of spirituality you so often share. I suspect your opinion, which I so dearly respect is that of not really knowing the inside of the first 150 pages of the book Alcoholics- Anonymous. Or the letter from Dr. Carl Young.
For the majority of alcoholics who suffer so deeply from denial, anger, resentment, or the total illusion of control. a bottom is required for any thing less we do not have the desire to stop. I am not talking about problem drinkers. I am talking about chronic alcoholics.
Deepak, I have suffered this dis-ease and stayed sober for thirty two years and have grown so much. I have read and enjoyed immensely so many of your books. Here is the ironic thing!!! everything you say I can find in the Big Book of AA. Our program is not a self help development, it is a help someone else development with no credit or ego building.
Answer:
I have great respect for the AA program and have seen wonderful results from it. I congratulate you on all your years of sobriety. My point of clarification is for those who have fully accepted the truth of their problem but have found the label of “alcoholic” as not being a true reflection of their essential nature. In establishing a conscious contact with a higher power the ego can find humility in it’s powerlessness to control behavior, but if that contact with higher power is real, then there is an awakening of knowledge of one’s true nature, not as the ego personality, but as that non-local field of cosmic intelligence that transcends ego, mind and body. From that experience, to say that your higher self is alcoholic and powerless is just not true. Untruths can never help you overcome denial or become humble.
The ego may still be an alcoholic and powerless, but conscious growth is about knowing who you are and who you are not, and your essence is not your ego. When you know who you are beyond your ego, then defining yourself as an alcoholic no longer rings true. That doesn’t mean you are denying your problem or overestimating your ability to deal with it. It does however release you from the mistake that the higher power is something different than your true self.
Love,
Deepak
Flying
Question:
I am at a very crucial decision point in my life, the decision of my future. But first, I'll give you a short introduction of who I am. My name is Alex, am an 18 year old man currently living in Frankfurt, Germany. The past ten years I have moved all over the world, living in Russia, Indonesia, Vietnam, and Malaysia, though I am originally from Germany. About half a year ago, I obtained my International Baccalaureate Diploma, graduating from high school. The past half year I have applied to become a professional pilot first with Lufthansa, and then Air Berlin Unfortunately I've been turned down by both after getting very far in the application process. In the end, a large part of the reason for turning me down was my interacting in a group being different to other candidates, probably due to my vastly different cultural background. Both airlines did however agree that my basic psychological and academic profile was more than enough to qualify for the job, but they did not want to take the risk of educating me due to my group interaction differences.
I have a great passion for flying, and becoming a pilot is my dream job I now have the chance left to privately finance the Pilot's License, though this does involve a considerable risk. However, my father no longer supports me in achieving my goal. He does not believe I am capable enough to achieve it, and does not share the passion and enthusiasm that I have toward the subject. My mother does however, and it was in fact her who had the idea of asking for your advice, as she is a great fan of your books. I too have read one of them (Fire in the Heart), and have taken a great deal of knowledge from it. After re-reading some of the chapters regarding following your dreams, I interpreted that I should continue to pursue my dream of becoming a pilot. However, I am torn between my parents, and between my heart and my rational mind. My mind keeps reminding me of the risks, which are largely emphasized by my father, while my heart tells me not to give up, and continue putting in the effort to make my dream come true. I am torn and unsure of what to do, but looking into myself, I know I want to keep going, I know I want to make it, and I want to put in all the effort to make it, because it is my dream, my passion; seeing the sunrise at 10 000 meters altitude, watching the world awake below, and knowing you are far above the troubles of the corporate world below. What should I do?
Answer:
If you really have that much passion and love for becoming a pilot, then you have to go ahead, even if there is a risk the airlines won’t hire you. Given that your academic and aptitudes show you are qualified, this is not an unrealistic goal for you. If you didn’t try to become a pilot, then you would always regret it. And as for your father not sharing your passion—he doesn’t need to, this is your life, not his. He presumably has his own interests and passions. I’m sure he just wants to make sure you are making an intelligent, practical, and well-thought out decision.
Love,
Deepak
Mantra Explanation
Question:
I am a Physician Assistant in a traditional western medicine family practice in a small town. Recently I enjoyed attended Journey Into Healing A beautiful experience. I feel many patients I know could benefit from meditation and have considered the teachers path in the future. However, the idea of a mantra based on vibration of the earth at the time of birth is seen as absurd to people some I've spoken with. Enough so, that it may interfere with accepting the idea of meditation. Is there another way to approach this to make it more palatable to mainstream individuals? Thank you for your work and considering my question.
Answer:
There is no need to reach for such arcane explanation of mantras. It is enough that for thousands of years personal experience of individuals has shown these sounds to be effective tools to contact inner silence. It is the proficiency of the mantras to give direct contact with the higher self that really matters, not theoretical explanations.
Love,
Deepak
Loss of Husband
Question:
My husband recently passed away suddenly from a massive MI. I met my husband when I was 18 and fell in love instantly. We dated for 6 years and married for 5. We have two children 3 and 9 months and our lives and relationship were perfect. I feel like my children and I were robbed of a future. He was a very spiritual man that practiced meditation daily and lived all of your seven spiritual laws. He never judged, was very in tune with himself and was an amazing person. He was the love of my life and my calming force. His death has changed my perspective on life. I no longer have a plan for the future. I'm trying to live every day and trying to find out who I am since I have not been alone in a very long time. Since he was my first love it's very difficult. I'm trying to follow the seven laws, accept my reality and appreciate what I have. But the problem is that I don't really feel happy, I'm happy for my kids and they are my motivation. But inside I feel empty without my husband. Initially I was scared about the future but now I feel that whatever happens will happen but I need to be more like him and very content with what I have and the rest will come in time. Is there anything else I can do to stop missing him soo much and try to accept this and not feel like my children got a raw deal? What do I do to be happy? I'm so lonely without him. Friends tell me that I’m young (30) and that I will find someone but I'm not sure if I will ever reach a stage to let go of my husband.
Answer:
I’m sorry you have had to go through this loss of your husband, especially at such a young age. You seem to be adjusting well, but there is no easy way past the feelings of missing him. You don’t need to set a goal of happiness for yourself just yet. Just attend to your heart and allow happiness to creep back in on its own.
Feeling grateful for the things about your husband that remain with you and your children can be a helpful tool to remind you that there are some ways he is not entirely separate from you even now. And it is too early to worry about whether you will find someone else. Attend to the present fully and that will take care of the future.
Love,
Deepak
Laws vs. Paths to Success
Question:
Thank You for all the wonderful insight you have provided me. I've given a lot of thought to laws and rules of late. I've come to the conclusion laws and rules are for those who are not able to thing for themselves. Many religions are based on the laws and rules of the church. I was thinking about this issue and beside me was the book The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success. I wrote a new name on the cover for myself. "Seven Spiritual Paths to Success". This is a better way for me to think about this book. As you have said, the well travelled path is easier to take than creating a new one. Even tough this book has brought wonderful experiences into my life, does the word "laws" imply success, only if I follow them.
Answer:
The phrase “laws of success,” isn’t meant to imply that these are rules that must be followed and administered. These are not religious laws or rules. Paths to success works just as well if you don’t like the word laws. The laws of success are simply observed principles of how nature functions efficiently. By modeling our behavior to the effortless power of the cosmos, we harness that creative force to run all the details of our life in accord with everything else in the universe.
Love,
Deepak
Willpower
Question:
Can you tell me about willpower? Ever since my childhood, I have been criticised because of my lack of willpower. My resolutions are never completed. I just feel no motivation whatsoever whenever I make resolutions. At first there is a lot of enthusiasm but then it just fizzles out soon. Both my parents say that I have a lot of potential but I am hampered by my own lack of willpower. I have tried every
possible way to feel that drive of ambition but I still don't feel it.
I am termed lazy and hopeless, and my life is termed wasted. Hence I feel rather depressed and weighed down by my parents' expectations (of course, I'm not blaming them). I've even cried a fair few times. Please tell me, am I just lazy? Am I weak willed? Please tell me a way to make my resolutions come true, to improve my willpower. I have totally lost confidence in myself. I feel that I have achieved nothing in my life and hence I feel the constant worry that I shall just waste my life and do no deed worth remembering. Please do help me Deepak!!!( just so that you know, I am 16 years old and a student hence my goals and aspirations are mainly academic in nature.)
Answer:
Thank heavens you mentioned your age. I don’t think you need to feel too bad that you haven’t accomplished anything yet in your life. My guess is that you don’t show a lot of willpower yet, because you don’t know yet what is really important to you. You haven’t yet discovered what your passions are. You are not hopeless, your life has barely begun.
When you know what really matters to you, what you truly care about, then you will invest your attention and energy into that. You don’t need an abstract fund of willpower to get through life, just clarity on what is important for you and then taking actions to follow that direction. For your studies, I would encourage you to find that thirst for knowledge in your soul and follow that desire for knowledge in all of your school subjects. If you don’t feel academically ambitious, that’s okay, you may not be that kind of a personality, but if you find that thread of curiosity and interest in school, then you can still do very well academically and use that education to help you discover your deeper interests.
Love,
Deepak
Dreams, Desires and Destiny
Question:
My question is of a confusion I have based on what I have been studying in the Course and what I hear/learn from sources like "The Secret" and "Abraham... Ask and it is Given".
My understanding of the Course is that, all that will happen has already happened and we are just watching the "movie" of what we call life (hence déjà vu). As opposed to trying to change it, we should just change our perception of what we believe to be happening in our movies and forgive it to reach salvation so that we can get back to being fully aware of our unity with God.
But the Secret & Abraham teaches that you can change your life based on your thoughts and feelings. I'm confused. Do we really have any control over what happens (or appears to be) happening? Can I really manifest whatever I want?
Gary Renard (Disappearance of the Universe) says no, unless it's in the script, it won't happen. He points out that even when there's a fork in the road, both paths have already been filmed as well. But through forgiveness, time can collapse so that there are fewer lessons needed and that's really the only "change" that can be made.
Is it possible to at least make my dream more enjoyable while I'mawakening or would that be counterproductive to even think about? Or do I just have to flow with what happens apparently good or bad trusting that all is well and my happy ending is unavoidable despite my desire for a different "reality".
I know you're going to say "Just be happy with what is".
But seriously, is my focusing on experiencing/feeling that ideal, holy relationship and family just a waste of energy and time?
Much love & appreciation for your time.
Answer:
It is not a waste of time to focus on an ideal relationship with God and to have positive intentions for your family. Those are areas of natural interest for you and it is through those natural desires that you participate in the cosmic creative process. Our core nature is that same intelligent force of creative power that propels and guides the flow of the entire universe. Self-realization is coming into full recognition of how we participate in this grand evolutionary unfoldment of creation. To know the full depth of one’s consciousness is to know that you are already a co-creator, and so you are already an active participant in this drama just by virtue of your being a conscious thinking/feeling being. How gracefully you do that is a function of how self-referral your awareness is.
It’s not a matter of whether the ego can control outcomes and get what it wants—for the spiritual aspirant, it doesn’t. Also, adopting the position that there are no choices to make, all is destiny and nothing to do but watch and forgive, seems to ignore the obvious point that consciousness is itself creative. In quantum mechanics, observation changes the object of observation and so is a choice and act in itself.
Since we have desires as part of our human nature, we can use that built-in tendency to align ourselves with the creative flow of the cosmos instead of trying to resist those desires and thereby separating us from that stream of evolution. The trick is to have the intentions you naturally have—such as spiritual awakening and positive ideals for your family—but to have them lightly. Be able remain detached about the specifics of how nature will fulfill your desires. Remaining self-referral means that your inner self already feels complete, fulfilled and grateful for reality exactly as it is this moment, and so whatever path and timing Nature chooses for your intention, you are okay with it because you are already complete. It’s a win-win situation. As you had guessed in your letter, I ended up giving you a version of “just be happy with what is.” It’s pretty similar to your idea of making your dream more enjoyable while you are waking up.
Love,
Deepak
Guilt
Question:
I always thought that asking for forgiveness implied that a person is willing to change. I left home at a relatively young age, and now I think it was because I subconsciously felt that I would never be able to cope with my idea of the responsibilities involved in being the eldest in our family. I occasionally speak with my Mother by telephone, (my Father has died), and a couple of us communicate by email. I wish I could be free of the sense of guilt that I have about this situation, but I am confronted by my own selfishness.
Answer:
I think you are being too hard on yourself for a choice you made years ago when you were a very different person than you are now. Maybe you would make a different decision now under similar circumstances than you did when you were younger, but you did the best you knew at the time. That is all anyone can do. You cannot go back and change the past, but you can learn from it, and it seems that you have. You can let go of the guilt by forgiving yourself and recognizing that it was part of the life learning process that led you to where you are now, so in that sense it isn’t right or wrong—it just is. This moment in time is what you have control over now, and this is your arena of freedom to act. Step into your present time and create the relationships with your family that you want.
Love,
Deepak
Peace and Doubt
Question:
I do want to mention that I am extremely spiritual and even religious. To me, they go hand in hand. I have picked up various self help books, and motivational guides to heal my mind as well as my body, but I still dip into a dark pool of doubt from time to time. How do I overcome this mindplay? One day I am content and at peace with what God has given me and hasn't given me, and they next day I am angry and sad. I fear that I am not strong enough to see past through these tough times, and eventually heal myself. But at the same time, I am willing to try and do not know where to start. How do I reshape my thoughts so that I won't flinch with doubt from time to time? How do I practice acceptance so that it will give me eternal peace of mind?
Answer:
Rather than trying to rid yourself of all doubt and find eternal peace of mind, try to accept that this cycling between doubt and gratitude is the natural progression of your self-realization that is taking you to an ever deeper knowledge of your essence. The periodic exposure of existing anger and sadness is helping you to see those pockets of your shadow side that still needs light, healing and forgiveness. So don’t despair when these old reactions and feelings reemerge, they are part of the healing process. Instead of looking for a peace that eliminates all other emotions, you can aim can be to find an unshakable peace that can coexist and pervade all emotions.
Love,
Deepak
Dealing With Loss
Question:
am asking for your help. I have had to cope with the loss of my husband, parents and almost my home. All this has happened in past years. Yesterday my faithful companion of 12 years (my dog Rebel) died. I am at a loss in coping with this. I have listened to "the Soul of Healing Meditations" for awhile now - every night but the pain of his loss is too great to concentrate. Please give some words of wisdom to help me get through this.
Answer:
Your most recent loss has followed the previous major losses before they were fully healed. This makes the death of Rebel that much harder to bear. My advice is to allow yourself to feel the full depth of your grief. Don’t be concerned if socially it seems disproportionate to what others think is an acceptable response to losing a beloved animal companion. You responsibility is to heal, not to live up to imaginary expectations. If the Soul of Healing Mediations aren’t helping, that’s fine. You don’t have to do anything with your feelings right now, just be with them, let them have their say without judgment impatience or indulgence. There is a natural arc to the grieving process. If you innocently cooperate with it, it will unerringly take you through the healing cycle and back into a purposeful and engaged life.
Love,
Deepak
Playing With Light
Question:
I can coherently change my sight to white light and slowly wrap the light around my vision to encompass my being with my eyes open, but i lose control of my body and feel as though i am moving yet i am not, a pleasure-able trip to a different place but frightening because i lose grip on this place. Is there a gain to pushing this frightening practice? And could i cause myself damage?
I practice this because the feelings associated with it are blissful, it effects my daily life and emotions greatly with a positive vibe, and it seems like i might be breaking through to a higher realm or something weird like that, that does sound silly but when i work with it i seem to expand and slowly burst with light and bliss yet i leave my physical body. I was not taught this but came from investigation! am i wake dreaming or what? can this help me, or should i keep reality here?
Answer
Whatever emotional benefits you may derive from this practice it does not make up for the physically unbalancing effects, in my opinion. Instead of bringing your mind and heart together, this practice is generating separation between them, and fear as well. You do not want to break through to another level at the expense of disconnecting with your body.
There are other meditation practices that integrate the uplifting mental and emotional effects you speak of into the physiology, making it healthier and more vital, not isolated and afraid. I would recommend a traditional spiritual practice along those lines.
Love,
Deepak
Parenting Struggle
Question:
I am struggling with the concept of accepting things as they are when it comes to parenting my 16-year-old son. My son is addicted to marijuana. We sent him to drug rehabilitation last year because he had started using cocaine. He was never convinced that marijuana is addictive and is potentially harmful. I have tried to explain to him on numerous occasions that, if nothing else, it is socially addictive and harmful. He is a bright child but his grades in school are deplorable. In his heart I know he is a warm and caring individual but on the surface he appears to be non-feeling and unconcerned with how his behavior affects others, especially his parents! He wanted to go out for the wrestling team this year and we let him in hopes that this would drive him to be more concerned with his health and the fact that he has to get better grades to be eligible to wrestle. He is allowed at the practices and goes to matches but he is side-lined. I have seen no appreciable elevation of his grades, as if he is doing enough to just be there but not enough to become eligible.
His mother and I have, for the most part, been at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. He has lived with his mother all his life and only recently started living with me a few days a week. In the past two weeks, he has not been around much and it seems to coincide with a new interest in getting high more frequently. I have always been more of a disciplinarian so it seems that when he is doing behavior he knows I find unacceptable, he backs away from me. In recent times his mother has become more concerned with his behaviors but she often lacks the constitution to stick to discipline and/or invest herself in helping him break unhealthy patterns.
For my part, I took up meditation about six weeks ago and have found it beneficial in learning to witness my own choices. I have found that I am choosing to be more non-judgmental when talking to him but internally I am experiencing turmoil. I struggle with my own relevance in his life, his lack of respect for me as a parent and a disregard for my concerns about him and his future. I have tried not to go down the road of allowing myself to be emotionally tied to his every behavior and attitude but I am failing in that regard. I feel that he is the only thing in my life in which I invest me deepest emotions. I know we all play multiple roles but as a father, I feel this to be my most important role and the one in which I find myself also struggling to keep a sense of who I am and not allow myself to be consumed emotionally or, on the other extreme, run away from this role. I live where I live only because of wanting to be near him; I have no other family in the area. As a result, I feel no particular sense of groundedness where I live so that makes my role as a father the only one for which I am living here.
My question is how do I fulfill my role as a parent while accepting things as they are. In other words, do I let him go through the choices he is making in hopes that he will find his own way, which means basically ignoring them and acting as if nothing is wrong or do I address them, discipline him where I am able and stand my ground for what I believe is in his best interests? This will surely mean that he won't be around much and will only add to my own feelings of isolation
from him.
I look forward to any wisdom you are able to impart and thank you in advance for considering my dilemma.
Answer:
This issue of being a responsible guide for your child and simultaneously recognizing of the limitations of your power over that child, especially as they come into adulthood, is a dilemma that every conscious parent feels. Learning to walk that line gracefully is part of your spiritual growth as well. So the first point is want to make is that you are not doing anything wrong. Dealing with an adolescent child is challenging, and when you add in addiction, and living in separate homes, it complicates things that much more. Nevertheless, this is where things are, and this is where you must begin.
You rightly mentioned that he doesn’t recognize that he has a problem, so rehab is not going to help, because he has nothing invested in it. Think of some mentor or respected figure that can talk to him and get him to see for himself that chemically altering his mood does not help him in the long run. It could be his doctor, wrestling coach, or uncle. Once he understands for himself that he needs help, then you can provide whatever support he needs to get clean.
What also occurs to me is that your son seems to lack any defining experience to help him in his transition to adulthood. Joseph Campbell spoke of the importance of rites of passage for boys to transition into manhood in order to help them direct the powerful energies and emotions at that time into productive creative ends. Without defining events to help the child redefine their evolving self, they feel lost, aimless, depressed and often self-destructive. I think your son needs something like this to help him consolidate his energies and direct them toward something fulfilling. It could be something as simple as a wilderness backpacking trip with him where you have a chance to teach him things and talk to him as a man. If you are sure that your relationship has deteriorated past that point, then he could conceivable do a similar kind of trip on his own or with some other male mentor. And it doesn’t have to be a vision quest type of trip either, you can create any kind of initiation ceremony you think is most appropriate to him.
Good for you for learning to meditate and consciously practicing nonjudgment. It’s okay if it seems like you are losing more battles than you are winning. The growth is happening in the simple attention of noticing your response, not in controlling it. Stay with it and you will be helping your son as much as a parent can, and you will also be learning essential knowledge about yourself. Every parents’ heart goes out to you in your situation.
Love,
Deepak
Spiritual Work Carryover
Question:
After spending a lifetime working towards enlightenment, when my spirit transition at the time of my "death", how much of this knowledge will I retain when I my soul manifests itself into a new physical being?
Answer:
All the spiritual growth that you have fully integrated will be carried forward. Krishna assures Ajuna in the Bhagavad-Gita on this very point-- that the work one does short of enlightentment in this life will be manifested in the next phase of your life journey. All of the knowledge may not be cognitively remembered in the format in which you are now learning it, but the structure will be there ready to be
activated when the time and experience is right.
Love,
Deepak
Controlling Behavior
Question:
Good afternoon Deepak and thank you for all you do. I just read an article of the day about being controlling. I took the little test and had almost 18/20. I am controlling and yet everything I do is for other people. The last choice described my personality but did not give me any advice for true change.
I have almost every book you've written and the Seven Laws of Spiritual Success is my favorite. I practice non-judgement, and acceptance, I fill myself with words of joy, happiness, laughter, love, hope, wealth, success, forgiveness.
I follow all the rules but my real me just doesn't change. I need help to find my way back to me...the me inside who is full of all the words and who just can't shake the pushy outer shell. I am truly a good person but I hate myself deeply for as long as I can remember. It is hard for me to look at myself in the mirror. I have felt that way since early grade school.
Answer:
Sometimes controlling behavior can show itself even when you are seemingly acting for others benefit. In such a case your motives for helping others might be to try to control their responses to you—obligation or gratitude. You’ll have to examine your core motivations to determine what is going on in your case. Controlling behavior is usually driven by the ego’s need to feel like it has to know what is going to happen in order to feel safe. The truth is we don’t know what is going to happen. Really feeling safe, peaceful and cntent has to come from knowing your true self, and an acceptance of the inherent mysteriousness of life. Embracing the wisdom of uncertainty not only frees you from the illusion of control, it puts you right in the middle of the joyful flow of cosmic creativity. That is a much more enjoyable place to live life.
Love,
Deepak
Contemplating A Change
Question:
I have practiced Nichiren Daishonin's buddhism for 27 years. I'm sure you know it involves the chanting of Nam myoho renge kyo and reciting lotus sutra passages.
I have listened to a multitude of you audio books and I am a huge fan. I am at a crossroads in my Buddhist practice, Deepak. I have gotten a tremendous amount of inconspicuous benefit from my years of practice but I question my lack of unfulfilled dreams. Until listening to 'The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire, I had believed that it was necessary to chant hours and hours and the fact that my dreams always turned to doo-doo regardless of my sincere intentions was because I was doing enough or that something is wrong with me; that perhaps I was a combination of Mussolini, Hitler, Hussein and Attila the Hun in a previous lifetime and must perforce suffer for it in this lifetime.
In "Peace is the Say" (I so do miss your own voice on that recording), you mentioned that a religion that made you feel inadequate -- I am paraphrasing - is to be questioned. You have also stated that if you wake up everyday going to a job you hate it's time to ask questions. I have been having a lot of resistance lately regarding mypractice and, were it not for superstitious fear, I could easily give it up now.
I guess what I am asking, is, what are your thoughts regarding the practice that I have been loyal to for more than 27 years? I desperately need to hear from you.
Answer:
Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism is a beautiful and powerful spiritual tradition, so I’m reluctant in encouraging you to look outside that path after all these years. However, in my experience of these matters over the years, I have noticed that it sometimes becomes necessary to break out of your spiritual rut in order to open yourself up to then ext phase of your growth.
Your awakening is not a loyalty test to your practice, tradition, or any external person person. It is about being loyal to your truth and following that wherever it leads. Your practice thus far has supported your path to awakening. If you find it necessary to look to another tradition, or to no tradition for your next phase of growth, it is not a failing or betrayal on your part, you are merely doing what every spiritual teaching aims for: making it possible for you to follow your inner spiritual guidance.
I don’t advocate jumping from one tradition to the next whenever you feel you are not getting instant results, because that fosters ego expectations. But after 27 years, you hardly fall into that category. I suspect your questioning is your inner guidance trying to get your attention so that you can look up for a moment and see the open door that is there before you. Don’t worry, change can be liberating.
Love,
Deepak
Stress From Changes
Question:
I am a Mexican 27 year-old woman. Two months ago, my husband got a promotion in his job and we had to move to another city; it is not far away from our parent's house, they or we frequently visit each other, the point is that I had to quit my job.
I'm a psychologist, I used to work for a large international company, but I got pregnant and getting along so many hours at my job, my baby, my husband an myself was too complicated to me.
I preferred to quit 8 months ago and got a "relaxed and less time job" in a Kindergarten, once I was finally feeling balance with my professional interests, home and baby, we had to move to my husband's new job's town. I feel totally lost. It had been so difficult to me finding myself without job, without my own money and feeling unsuccessful... I have felt so unbalanced, in a terrible mood, terrible digestion, lost and increase of hunger, anger, feeling guilty; of course I love my husband, I adore to stay with our 1 1/2 year baby...but I haven't feeling able to manage all day at home, just like a house keeper... I don't find the balance, I am worry about feeling frustrated so young, I couldn’t finished my master degree because I didn't have time, and now I have the time, I don't have the money... I can't find new goals... I am not sure what is what I want now about me as a professional woman... I love being a mom, a wife... but I just need some understanding advice about how can I find my new me. My husband needs my moral and spiritual support but If I'm losing mine, how can I help?
Answer:
Your life has been going through major changes lately with the new child, new city and loss of your career. Any of these can be stressful, but all three in close succession can be traumatic. Recognize this as a transformational time in your life which will reveal new strengths and talents you didn’t know you had. I would recommend you incorporate a meditation and exercise program into your routine to help you cope with the extra stress you are going through. Also on a more mundane level, you could look for some part-time work to get you out of the house a little and give you a sense of professional purpose. Something similar to the job at the kindergarten you had before you moved could work. Or you could look into lower cost options for finishing your masters degree. Check out financial aid possibilities or on-line degree programs as well.
Love,
Deepak
Misery
Question:
I am writing to you in desperation. I am a 35 year old Indian woman who has been married for 9 years. My problem is that I am in an unhappy marriage for a long time and although I know that the best thing for me is to end the relationship and start again....I just cant do it!! I tried to end it 18 months ago then my family got involved and persuaded me to give him another chance to make it work but my feelings have not changed in fact I am so bitter and angry with my whole situation that I feel so irritated by him. he reason it has got this bad is because I did not deal with things that were bothering me about the marriage over the whole period and 'let it go' so to speak because he is so tied to his family and his life will pretty much always be dictated by his family. There is nothing I share with him at the moment not even a home - I live 100 miles away from him during monday - friday and visit him at weekends where we now not even share a bed. He is happy with this arrangement as he wont let me go but i want a family now and need to make the right choices about who to have children with? I find myself being attracted to other men and feel guilty about it as well, I just want someone to talk to a soul mate who understands me but cant do that either because I am married..... He has disrespected quite badly emotionally and verbally and is a very angry man I just don’t feel close to him and cant get myself to be close to him either? I am so unhappy and lonely I just cant believe it I cant seem to find joy in anything at the moment. I am just with him because he will be lost without me and although it seems sick to say I am so stuck with the misery I actually cant imagine my life without the misery that I am now so used to. I have read a lot of your books as well as a lot of self help books and I know how important your spiritual/mental health is. Can you give me some guidance please? I have seen a psychic as well But I just don’t trust anyone anymore.....
Answer:
I think you can probably include yourself among those you no longer trust. I suggest you meditate or adopt whatever spiritual practice you have an affinity for in order to reestablish a sense of trust and inner guidance. It is important that you reset your natural tendency to seek joy and expansion in life. To end the list of external reasons why you feel you are unhappy, you say you can’t imagine your life without this misery. If you honestly cannot imagine even the possibility of relief, then upon what basis could improvement be seen, even when your outer circumstances change? Cultivating your consciousness to allow for something positive, is where you need to start.
You are missing the underlying issue if you think your misery is dependent upon what your husband does or doesn’t do. If you have decided you want a family and you can’t or won’t have it with your present husband, then make your decision and go forward. To say you are staying with him because he would be lost without you sounds disingenuous. You only see him on weekends, don’t sleep with him and don’t feel close to him. You are interested in other men. It sounds like he is already living his life without you. Much of your misery is a consequence of your desire to have a family with a man you love and respect running against your fear of social rejection by his family and your doubts that you will find what you want after you do leave. The truth is you don’t know what will happen if you leave, and the pressure from his family probably will be difficult, but that’s not as bad as the miserable stagnation you know you will experience under the status quo. It will probably be a challenging journey at first, but adventures are not supposed to be easy and predictable. Find your strength, your voice, and your courage then go forward and create a joyful life for yourself.
Love,
Deepak
Teaching Self-Realization
Question:
You are very wise and refer often to the book "I Am That" by Sri Nisargadata Maharaj. I am in the process of reading it, and I am half way through. I ask myself, why you still teach metaphysical things when you know that we find our Self only in the absence of thought?
Is there a time in our life that we come to a fork in the street where we have to decide for Truth, rather than things of this world (wealth, title, status)? And if not we continue to experience an illusion?
Answer:
I love Mahajaj’s book "I am That", because it is such an inspiring and lucid account of living in the state of unity consciousness. The description of that grand state of awareness however does not help the reader get there himself. The awakening of consciousness to its true nature happens outside of time/space causality, but to create the physiological conditions for that to happen does require some culturing of the nervous system through meditation and additional practices. You don’t attain absence of thought just by wishing for it, for almost everyone, it requires a technique that takes you beyond the mind. That is the reason I teach mediation and write about ancient knowledge to guide that spiritual unfolding to its full expression in unity consciousness. I don’t see this process as a simple fork in the road. We are constantly being asked at every moment on the path to find what is real and true and leave the illusions. You’re right, wealth and status can be an illusion, so can poverty and false humility. There is a natural dharma for each of us, by simply living by that inner guidance, you remain true to who you are and what you express, without trying to fit others’ conceptions of what you should be doing.
Love,
Deepak
Fabric of Immortality
Question:
In 2004, I had a spontaneous out-of-body experience during meditation. This changed my life and I now teach Awareness Principles and create Awareness Products. I thought consciously being in energy form would be the most amazing thing to happen to me on this trip. But, recently, I am able to see on a microscopic level. I see a "net" or "web" of cells in the air that others do not see. It is very strong at the ocean. The cells are connected and the web "breathes" as it sways in and out. It is amazing. Do you have any insight about what I am seeing and do you know of anyone else who can see it. I want to discuss it and I have no one to discuss it with b/c they can't see it.
Answer:
This is a fascinating experience. I haven’t had this experience in the graphic detail you have, but I recognize the character of it. This is a very real and profound experience of self-referral consciousness. When I read your description, a phrase from one of my teachers of the past came to mind: “the fabric of immortality.” It’s as if the microscopic structure of one’s own vibrant consciousness becomes apparent to your subtle vision. The exquisite construction of the most intimate essence of your self is projected onto the screen of your awareness. Consciousness is seeing itself as an object by itself and through itself. I think many of us can reference some quality of self-referral experience in our past, but I think your experience is remarkable for its clarity of detail. I invite our readers to offer their own experiences in this vein as well.
My suggestion is to be with the experience very lightly. Don’t over-examine it or try to extract meaning that doesn’t reveal itself. The meaning is in the experience itself. The experience is self-directed, you don’t need to worry about what comes next. Gently notice where you feel you are in the experience. Don’t be surprised if it seems to shift around or becomes expansive and non-local. Your self is learning how to function in a new, unbounded format. Enjoy.
Love,
Deepak
Indecision
Question:
I am a 28 year-old woman and I have been married for 2 and 1/2 years. Right now I feel kind of confused with my relationship and I am the kind of person who is always scared when to choose a decision, I over ask and that causes me guilt and fear, because I know theoretically that I should live my live and get my own answers but when I start thinking on all the possibilities that could happen after I take a decision I feel confusional and I prefer not to choose anything. I want to know what's the best for me and to get an internal answer and also know for sure what I have to do. So I wanted to know if there is amethod to get there, by meditations, or other kind of ways, because I want to do what's best for me! Thank you very much and see you in Costa Rica soon!
Answer:
We have within our bodies, the perfect intelligence that computes the all our diverse biological functioning in perfect attunement with the cosmic cycles of day and night, all without us having a moment of doubt or confusion. All we need to do to find the appropriate directions for our life is to plug directly into this fund of limitless intelligence inside us. If the mind is too agitated, it is difficult to listen to this quiet guidance, but one can still access it through the more obvious avenue of the body’s sensations.
Begin by finding your calm center through meditation, breathing, visualization, or music. Then in that silent field of awareness that is devoid of fear, or expectation, introduce your prospective options. Let those projections permeate your body, your breath and being. Notice what sensations arise in your body with that thought impulse: where it is located, its intensity, its quality, its movement. Observe all this without judgment or attachment. If your body’s reaction to the proposal is a general sense of openness, lightness and ease, then that is a good indicator that the direction of activity will be smooth and productive for you. If on the other hand the reaction is constrictive, darker and agitated, then your body is telling you that path is likely to be rougher. This exercise will help bring you more in touch with your inner intelligence, but you will still need to cultivate your strength and clarity of self through meditation, because sometimes your body will give you signals that this is the way forward but also that it will be challenging also. For those decisions you need the courage and conviction of knowing what is real inside you to go forward. I hope
this helps.
Love,
Deepak
Believing in Satan
Question:
I always wonder if you believe in Satan, Hell, demons, evil, etc. Personally, I don't. But I'd like to see your opinion on the subject. What about angels? I don't know if I believe in angels. I believe that everyone has a soul that is unique, but at the same time equal and that everything is connected.
Answer:
No, I don’t believe in those things because I don’t look at them as objects of belief or disbelief. I see those terms as culturally developed ideas that have helped people conceptualize certain experiences. Those concepts have over time served to form and mold experience as well. So they have taken on a life of their own, as it were, but at their source these are static terms created out of our formless, dynamic consciousness.
Love,
Deepak
Path of Service
Question:
Thank you for your book How to Know God. I have read it all, and studied the first few chapters at length. I can't get farther than that because I don't have the scientific knowledge, the brains or the level of enlightenment to get farther. I would like to get farther because maybe I would be happier. I run an outreach mission to the poor and the homeless people in my town, and things have gotten very bad. I work many hours a week and I'm kind of on the old side (62). I have tried many times to meditate more and make some kind of progress, but I can't seem to. So I think I have to stay on my simple path of helping the poor and trusting in the Universe, the Tao, whatever you want to call it. Does this seem okay to you? I know that question is kind of dumb, but it would really help me to know what you think.
Answer:
I think you are doing a wonderful service to humanity. God bless you. You don’t need academic knowledge or understanding to make spiritual progress or to contribute to making this a better world. You are already helping your spiritual progress byh elping others. Don’t think of yourself as old, you’re just attaining the age of wisdom. If you would like a meditation practice that you can do right now, do the So Hum meditation where you easily pay attention